In the Air (The City Book 1) - By Crystal Serowka Page 0,52
have reacted that way, I had no right to." Natalia's eyes darted around the restaurant.
I walked away from the door, closing in on the distance between us. "Did you really not believe a word I said to you in your dorm?" My voice remained low, not wanting everyone in the restaurant to hear our conversation.
"You were right. I've lived my entire life trying to make my mother happy, never really focusing on what I wanted." She frowned with sadness. "I know I need to put my own happiness first, but even that scares me."
"You didn't answer my question. Do you not believe what I told you?" I stood my ground even though all I wanted was to hold her.
"I'm trying."
Her words reverberated inside me. The same words I said to Aubrey a few days ago. Was there a way to succeed with love again? I wasn't sure. I didn't even know if I could hold onto it if I was given another chance.
I walked past Natalia, to an empty booth, and sat down. I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes. I heard Natalia take the seat across from me, but she didn't say a word. When I looked up, she was staring back at me.
"You're in a hard place," she said. "I didn't expect to have feelings for someone so quickly either. I know how you feel." She reached across the table and took my hand in hers.
"You don't know how I feel, Natalia," I stated. "You really don't. I want to move on so badly, but then I wonder if I'm making the right choice. Leaving the only girl I've ever loved for a stranger?" I knew the moment the words left my mouth, that I had said the wrong thing.
"This is why I never wanted you to tell me you had feelings for me." She paused, biting her bottom lip. "I would be the rebound girl, wouldn't I?"
"I didn't mean it–" I scratched the back of my head, trying to absorb my thoughts before speaking again. "I told you this before, but I'll say it again and I hope this time it sticks. You could never be anyone's rebound. I just ... " I took a deep breath. "I didn't anticipate my life going this way. It had always been planned out, up until the point that I moved here. New York was supposed to be my answer, Natalia."
We each stayed quiet for a few more moments, before Cesar walked up to the table and asked if we needed a drink. I ordered both of us a DiSarrono, not caring that it was still early in the day.
"I didn't want a drink," Natalia said.
"We could both use one," I responded.
"Is New York your answer, Samson?" Natalia looked at me expectantly. She wanted me to say yes.
My eyes peered into hers and I felt a familiar flip in my stomach. The feeling I got every time I looked at her. "I hope so."
With my answer, she gave a small smile.
"I know I made the right decision ending things with Aubrey. It was time. What I need you to understand is that she'll probably always be a part of my life in some way. I can't tell you if this," I pointed between us, "will work out, but I can tell you that I want it to."
"I'm ready to take a chance," Natalia said confidently.
"We could go back to my place and play Twister ... but I don't have the board."
My smile reflected hers. I was happy that my joke broke some of the tension. It was getting serious, and being with Natalia didn't feel like we were in a library, having to be quiet and courteous at all times. She was fun and silly, which I loved. Natalia swayed her neck back and forth.
"You waste no time, do you?" she asked, laughing lightly.
I responded with sincerity, "Why waste time when you know exactly what you want?"
"Why waste time when you know exactly what you want?" My dad asked me the same question a few years ago, before I auditioned for Juilliard. We were sitting at our favorite diner eating breakfast. He looked at me with the same look he always gave, the kind that showed so much admiration. It was our first breakfast together in months. My dad was finally feeling well enough to leave the house.