held himself high and deep, rocking against her; a raw, harsh sound burst from his throat and he bowed in her arms, every muscle in his body tensing, helpless to stop thrusting. She didn’t want him to stop, she wanted him to feel what she was feeling. He ground into her, shuddered, bucked, went deeper.
Slowly the tension in his body oozed away and he eased his weight down on her, his movements jerky and lacking his usual powerful grace. He was breathing hard, but so was she, and sweat sheened their naked bodies. Her heart slammed against her rib cage. If the house collapsed around them right then, she didn’t know if she’d have the energy to get up and put on her clothes. All she wanted to do was lie right where she was, under him, holding him.
After a while he laboriously rolled off her and got up to dispose of the condom. Without his body heat she felt chilly, despite the proximity of the fireplace, and pulled the blankets over herself. When he returned she simply lifted the blanket and he slid under them next to her, pulled her close so her head was on his shoulder. “Your feet are cold,” he muttered sleepily. “Put them on me.”
Sela didn’t know how any part of her could be cold after what they’d done but her feet were definitely chilly. She curled into him, her arm around his neck, and tucked her feet against his legs. Utterly satisfied, utterly content, she slept.
Sometime later he got up and added more wood to the fire. When he lay back down, he rolled onto his back and pulled her on top of him.
Two condoms down.
By morning there were four left.
Chapter Twenty-One
“I need a bigger gun.”
The comment came out of nowhere. Ben’s eyes popped open. The gray light of dawn pushed at the windows but he’d been awake for a while, content to hold her, in no hurry to get up. He wasn’t someone who lay around in bed, he got up and began doing something . . . until now. This was different. Lying in bed with Sela was the best use of his time he could think of.
In the firelight he could see her staring at the ceiling, her mouth pooched out as she considered whatever she was considering, which in light of her comment didn’t seem to be world peace. An unfamiliar sensation rose in his chest, his throat, and suddenly he was laughing, truly laughing. He couldn’t remember the last time that had happened. “That’s what Olivia said, too.” And he was just as startled now as he’d been then.
“I’d already thought about it, then forgot, but—we were lucky, because we were way outgunned. I don’t want that to happen again. Even after you find whoever was trying to steal the gas, there’ll still be times in the future when we’ll have trouble. Not constantly, but other people will try to come in, try to take what we have. So I need a bigger gun.” She wiggled her pursed lips from side to side. “I bet I can trade something for one.”
“Don’t forget ammo. A more powerful weapon is useless unless you have the ammunition for it.” Her head was lying on his arm and he crooked his elbow, bringing her closer so he could kiss her hair. “But don’t worry about it, I have you covered.” He had a hidden arsenal at his house, weapons he wouldn’t be bringing out short of outright war. He hadn’t exactly come by them legally, which was why they were hidden. Sela didn’t need a grenade launcher, though; she needed a deer rifle—and practice. Lots of practice. If he’d been the one doing the shooting at the store, there wouldn’t have been any “maybe” about wounding someone, there would have been bodies all over the parking lot.
He rubbed his hand over her bare stomach, silently marveling that he had the freedom to touch her in that manner, and more intimately if he wanted. Three days ago he’d still been firm—mostly—in his policy of isolation, but then Sela had come up the mountain to his place and all of that had turned on a dime. Now they were lying naked together, watching the room get lighter as the sun rose and neither of them willing to get up and get busy because they didn’t want this time to end, even temporarily.
Then she stretched and yawned—an action that for some reason made his hand slide