After Felix - Lily Morton Page 0,71
at me intently.
“What is it?” I say nervously. “Oh my God, is my hair a mess?”
He shoots a glance at my mop and his mouth twitches. “Not at all,” he says smoothly. “It looks much the same as normal.”
“A mess, then,” I say gloomily.
After another staring session, I spread my hands in a helpless gesture. “Why?”
He looks adorably awkward. Maybe even shy?
“I’ve accepted a last-minute speaking arrangement in Venice,” he confesses. “I just thought it would be nice for you if we travelled this way.”
“Wouldn’t it have been quicker by plane?”
“You haven’t travelled to many places, and I wanted to do something special for you,” he says almost stubbornly.
“Why?” I ask again.
“Do you really want to know?” His eyes have gone dark and mysterious.
I take a shallow breath. I can’t do this. I’m not ready for another conversation where he tries to persuade me back into bed even though he’s still in love with someone else.
Before I can answer him, there’s a whistle and the sound of slamming doors. The band begins to play loudly as the train pulls away. I abandon all dignity and race to the window, looking out eagerly. Several people wave to me from the platform, and I wave back.
When I turn back, Max is watching me with something I’d call tenderness.
“Thank you,” I finally say.
“You don’t mind?”
I shake my head. “It’s a bit of a moot point anyway, seeing as you’ve stolen me away and are holding me captive on a luxury train.” My hand strays towards my phone so that I can capture this epic moment on social media. I remember to answer his question. “How could I mind? I mean, you’ve whisked me away on the Orient Express. I don’t even want to think how much this is costing you.”
“No, you don’t,” he says smoothly. “It’s a present.”
“We don’t give each other presents,” I say.
“Well, we should, in my opinion.”
“Well, buy me a pint, not the bloody Orient Express.”
“Darling, in the spirit of honesty, it’s just a cabin, and we don’t actually own the train.”
“Don’t call me darling,” I say automatically. “This cost far too much, Max. I don’t know what to say.”
“Just don’t say anything serious.” He leans forward in his seat.
“Then what do you want me to do?”
“I want you to be with me like you used to be.”
“That’s over and done. We can’t be that again.” The words are broken glass in my throat.
“I know,” he says passionately. “I know that, Felix,” he repeats in a gentler tone. “I just want you to be the way you were when you talked to me without barriers. When we would laugh and talk, and you didn’t look at me as though you hated me.”
My heart hurts at the emotion in his voice. “I’ve never hated you.”
He cocks his head. “Really?”
I sigh. “Well, okay, for a whole week I did actually wish that you’d collapse and man-eating crabs would devour your helpless body slowly and painfully until you died screaming my name and begging for mercy, but that was a very long time ago.”
“Okay, that’s not in the least disturbing,” he says in a valiant fashion.
“I’m not the same person I was then,” I remind him. “There are a few years that have gone by.”
“I’m not the same, either,” he says fervently. “And someday you’re going to recognise that.”
“Am I?”
He nods, stubborn and beautiful and still my Max.
I look at him thoughtfully. I can’t deny I want our old interactions back too. To be able to sit and talk, to laugh with him again and snark without the bitterness. Maybe we can do this. Perhaps this time away from the real world is what we need.
He must see he’s wearing me down because he smiles radiantly, looking suddenly much younger.
“I’m not making any promises, but we can try,” I say quickly.
“That’s all I want.” His tone is a bit too innocent.
I narrow my eyes. “So where’s your cabin?”
“Ah well, this is our cabin,” he says. He gestures at the space around us. “Isn’t it scrumptious?” My mouth drops open, and he says, defensively, “It was the only cabin left. It was short notice, so I had to take what they had.”
“So, this isn’t some convoluted plot to get me to share a bed with you where I’ll realise the error of my ways and shag you all the way to Venice?” I enquire.
His eyes flare, but he shakes his head primly. “Of course not, Felix. I don’t know what you take me for.