granddad had fallen down and had to go to hospital. I didn’t want to lie to them, but it wasn’t like I could bypass their dad and tell them everything. They were only eight and I didn’t want them to have nightmares about cliffs and falling. I told them that Granddad had fallen over and that he was recovering.
Chloe: I liked talking to Auntie Emma. She didn’t say that she wanted to watch the telly instead.
Emma: The girls would drift from one subject to the next, even though one thing might have nothing in common with one another. It was like they’d built up this big folder of questions over a period of time. Because I was doing my best to answer, they decided to throw everything at me.
They asked about electric cars, because one of their neighbours had recently got one. They wanted to know what happened after you separated all the plastic for recycling. They thought it was hilarious that their granddad still bought a newspaper. I didn’t understand why at first – and then they said that you could read everything on an iPad. It was that different way of seeing the world.
We must have talked for about an hour, more or less non-stop. I don’t remember everything – but there was definitely a moment where they asked what was wrong with their dad. I didn’t know what they meant at first. I think it was Amy who said that he kept holding onto his side and that he would do some breathing exercises each morning. I was a bit blank at first – but then I remembered he’d winced when he was at the shop counter outside the airport.
I told them that when people get older, bits of their bodies can start to wear out. Then they started talking about how they’d get robot body parts if any of theirs wore out.
Amy: Auntie Emma said I can have robot legs that will help me run really fast.
Emma: It was inevitable where things were going to lead. They had probably been asking their parents for a year or two about it. In the end, I think it was Chloe who asked what prison was like.
Chloe: Daddy told us never to ask Auntie Emma about prison…
Emma: I didn’t want to give them nightmares – but I didn’t want to be evasive. When I was released, it was one of the things I decided I would do for the rest of my life. I wouldn’t bring up what happened unless I had to – but I wouldn’t lie about it, either. If people had questions, then I’d answer them.
So I told the girls that prison wasn’t very nice and that nobody should ever want to go.
Amy: Unca Daniel said people poo in a bucket in prison.
Chloe: He said there’s a bucket in every prison room and that people have to poo in it. Then they sleep in the room with the poo and the poo goes everywhere.
Emma: At some point, they must have asked ‘Unca’ Daniel about prison. I don’t know where or when that would have happened – but he told them something about buckets and going to the toilet. You know what it’s like when kids hear a rude-ish word and then can’t stop saying it… They asked if I slept in a poopy room and if I could smell the poo. How are you supposed to reply? I told them prison wasn’t like that, but they were giggling so much, I don’t think it mattered. It took them about fifteen minutes to calm down. Every time it quietened a little, one of them would whisper ‘poo’ – and they’d be off again.
Daniel: I tried to scare them straight. Haven’t you ever heard of that? If I make you think prison is a scary place, you won’t want to go, will you? It’s basic logic. You can hardly tell them it’s all like a holiday camp nowadays.
Amy: Unca Daniel said prison’s like a holiday camp nowadays.
Chloe: I didn’t know what a holiday camp was… but I like holidays... like Center Parcs.
Emma: I soon realised why they had so many questions. Daniel had told them that prison is a ‘holiday camp’. When they said they didn’t know what a holiday camp was, he said prisons were ‘better than Butlin’s’ – but they didn’t know what Butlin’s was, either.
I can imagine him getting frustrated at that point, so he told them that all prisoners had their own television and