Affliction (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter) - Laurell K. Hamilton Page 0,219

stick. I just let them go. I’d figure out what was bugging me later; right now I wanted to see Micah and make sure he was okay. All right, as okay as he could be under the circumstances. My head was already starting to ache from whatever emotional land mine the last few minutes had hit, but I’d learned that I didn’t have to know exactly what was bothering me. I just had to acknowledge the problem, keep moving, and not act on the irrational impulses. Edward had saved me earlier when I would have taken out my issues on Nicky and Dev; now I had to save myself.

I took a few deep breaths, and it was a mistake, because I could smell the sweet-and-sour smell of something rotting, and I knew it was Micah’s dad. The smell was almost too close to the smell of the corpses earlier. It was like some awful preview. And just like that, I wasn’t okay.

‘Bathroom, nearest,’ I said.

Gonzales pointed down the hallway. ‘Go right.’

I’d have liked to be cool, but I started running, not like running-for-my-life fast, but I really wanted to get to the bathroom before I threw up. Nicky and Domino jogged behind me, and I felt stupid having them trail me. In that moment I just wanted to be alone.

I found the bathroom, slammed into the door to push it open, and ran for a stall. I started throwing up before I got to my knees and had just enough awareness left to keep my hair back with one hand.

I felt someone behind me. ‘It’s me,’ Nicky said. Though for once if the bad guys had wanted to get me, doing it while I was being violently ill was a good moment to choose. Nicky held my hair for me so I could use both hands to prop myself up. Meat does not throw up well. If I’d known it was going to be important, I’d have had the soup, or maybe just coffee, yeah, just coffee would have been great.

I knelt there, my forearms propped on the toilet, head hanging down, while Nicky held my hair in one hand and put the other on my forehead. His hand felt cool, and I knew it wasn’t. He ran hotter than human-normal like most lycanthropes. The fact that his hand felt that cool meant that maybe I was sicker than I thought.

‘Here are some paper towels; it might help,’ Domino said.

I thought he meant Clean up, and was about to protest that I hadn’t made a mess, but then Nicky’s hand left my forehead and put something cold against the back of my neck. It was a shock to the system, but it felt good. Cool was better.

‘Sorry,’ I managed to say.

‘For what?’ Domino asked, but Nicky didn’t ask. He knew, partly because he was my Bride, but partly because he understood how much I hated weakness of any kind.

I started fumbling at the toilet paper roll.

Nicky leaned over to help.

‘I got it,’ I said, and realized I’d snapped at him. ‘I’m sorry.’ I got some of the paper to finally come off the damn roll and wiped at my mouth.

‘Do you want me to leave?’

‘No.’ I said it automatically and then a tiny part of me wondered if it was true. Hadn’t I thought I’d like to be alone just seconds before I came in here?

Nicky let go of my hair and started to move out of the stall.

I reached back and grabbed his pants leg. ‘Please,’ I said, ‘just give me a minute. I didn’t mean to snap. I don’t want you to go. Thank you for taking care of me.’

‘You’re saying all the right things, but I can feel what you’re actually feeling, remember? You’re irritated, angry even.’

‘But not at you,’ I said, with my hand still wrapped in the loose edge of his jeans. He had to get loose fit a lot, because the muscles of his thighs didn’t fit in some of the tight jeans.

‘Just because you’re not angry at me doesn’t mean you won’t aim it at me.’ There was a tone in his voice that I couldn’t quite figure out, but it wasn’t a good one.

‘Please,’ I said again, ‘don’t let your issues and mine do something bad. I just need to figure out what the hell is going on in my head.’

‘Okay,’ but he sounded cautious, as if he didn’t trust … me. He was this big, physical guy, tougher and better than