Affliction (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter) - Laurell K. Hamilton Page 0,211

gag, I’d use it.’

‘Anita doesn’t like gags,’ Nathaniel said, and sounded a little sad.

I managed to say, ‘Would try it.’

Nathaniel came back up where I could see his face. I was able to focus on him now, though the look on his face was one I hadn’t seen before. ‘If you offered because you didn’t think we had any, you should know that I packed more than just the collar and leash.’

It took me a minute to realize what he meant. ‘You packed one.’

‘I packed two,’ he said.

‘Even though you knew we probably wouldn’t get to use them,’ I said.

‘High stress makes me want more bondage; even having some toys with me makes me feel better, and I figured this would be a high-stress trip.’

They were both propped up on one elbow looking down at me. ‘Will you wear a gag for us?’

Looking up at them, I had a moment of doubt. I didn’t believe they’d hurt me for real – if I did, I wouldn’t have sex with them – but it was the pretend, the almost threat, that made some kinds of bondage work. Either you were titillated by the idea, or it couldn’t be explained to you. I was titillated, and a little nervous. Nathaniel was right, I didn’t like gags; they were uncomfortable and I didn’t find it an attractive look. I had tried one on once, but I’d just put it in without any bondage happening, and without some other fun and games, I did not like them, but Nathaniel loved having one during certain kinds of bondage. I thought it was a ruin of a good and useful mouth, but it had seemed like a better idea with the edge of teeth and hands.

‘It seemed like a better idea with your hand around my throat and Nathaniel’s mouth on my breast.’

‘We can do that,’ Nicky said.

‘Totally,’ Nathaniel said.

So we did.

65

Nathaniel requested an addition. He wanted my hands tied. I said, ‘But with my hands tied and the gag it takes away my no, my safeword.’

‘That would be the idea,’ he said.

I debated, but it was something that Nathaniel had wanted for a long time, and with Nicky to partner him it seemed like a better idea. I totally and completely wouldn’t have done it if it had been Nathaniel and Asher. He was a true sadist and a serious power tripper; I would never willingly put myself in a position with Asher to not be able to say stop. But Nicky, I trusted him more, so …

I sat on the bed between them, Nicky’s hand squeezing the breath from my throat, controlling me with all that strength, while Nathaniel fitted the gag, forcing my mouth wide and wider like Nicky’s kiss had done, so that the gag was like a continuation of the kiss. By the time Nathaniel had the gag fitted and tied behind my head, my body needed to breathe again and I was fighting the panic. I tapped out. Nicky released, and I found out that I could breathe both around the ball gag and through my nose.

Nathaniel came back around where he could see my face. ‘Is it okay?’

I nodded.

He smiled and kissed my forehead. Then he picked up one of the straps that he and Nicky had threaded under the mattress earlier. It had a black nylon cuff on it that closed with Velcro on the end of it. The moment I’d seen the Velcro cuffs I’d known he brought them for me, not for him, because I liked the Velcro. I could, if I had to, get out of them, but up to that point they were secure and gave the illusion of me being trapped, but it was an illusion. Nathaniel liked leather cuffs, or handcuffs, because he liked more than just the illusion of being trapped.

To my questioning look he’d said, ‘You like to be tied up when you’re under stress, too.’

To that I hadn’t known what to say, so I wisely let it go.

I lay down on the bed with Nathaniel on one side and Nicky on the other. Nathaniel fastened the first cuff securely around my wrist. My wrists were tiny enough that we actually had trouble finding handcuffs that fit me, but the Velcro went down nice and snug. My arms were out to the side, not directly overhead. I’d discovered that my shoulders didn’t like being tied overhead for long, at all.

Nicky fastened the second cuff in place, though he had to