Aeromancist, The Beginning (SECOND EDITION) - Charmaine Pauls Page 0,29
feet, she hurried after him. When she got to the entrance, she was just in time to see him rush outside, almost knocking Clelia off her feet as she came back inside.
Clelia shot Kat a worried look. “Are you all right, Kat?”
Tears she didn’t want to shed burned in her eyes. Kat could only shake her head as she escaped to the privacy of their room.
She ran a bath, stripped, and lowered herself into the welcome warmth of the water. Only then did she allow herself to cry. She allowed herself to grieve for all of two minutes before wiping away the tears. This was no way to behave. She’d made this bed. She took a deep breath. More than ever, she needed to be strong. She was done crying. For as long as she could, she chose life.
Chapter 6
The pain was unbearable. Lann had never experienced anything like it, not even when he found out what he was or why his mother had died and his father abandoned him. A dust devil twirled at his feet. It took some effort to let the particles settle. As he regained control of his emotions, the dust died down. Facing Katherine’s death wasn’t something he could deal with. He’d certainly never forgive himself.
Joss and Clelia approached him where he stood on the steps of the forest chapel. The wind had picked up. Rain would follow soon. Clelia’s hair whipped around her face. Joss draped an arm around her, sheltering her against his body. They stopped in front of him.
“You have to tell her about us,” Clelia said, “and about your part in the team. She already knows what I am.”
He shook his head. “She’s got enough to deal with.”
“She won’t forgive you so easily this time,” Joss said. “Not if you leave her in the dark again.”
“What do I tell her? That I’m a killer?”
“You’re not a killer,” Clelia said. “You’re a soldier.”
Joss gave him a stern look. “She’s the mother of your child. You owe her the truth.”
“Not yet,” Lann said. “Give her time.”
He first had to convince her he loved her. If she believed him, it would be easier for her to accept what he did for a living.
“Are you not telling her because she won’t be able to handle the truth, or because you can’t bear to break it to her?” Joss asked.
“I’ll handle it, dammit.”
Clelia’s voice was gentle, her expression concerned. “Come back inside.”
He shook his head. He needed the storm. He wanted to feel it lash around him.
“Lann,” Joss said, “Pull yourself together. She needs you.”
The last part caught his attention. Yes, Katherine needed him. But damn the winds from all corners of the earth to hell and back, he needed her too. He needed her for longer than eight months.
“I’m responsible,” he said.
He didn’t have to elaborate. He could see from Joss and Clelia’s faces they knew what he meant.
“Let’s talk about it,” Joss said.
Clelia huddled against her husband. “I’ll go see if Kat needs anything.”
When they turned, Lann followed.
Inside the warmth of the castle, Clelia went upstairs while Joss brought Lann to the study.
Lann smiled grimly. “It seems we’re spending a lot of time in here talking about how I’ve fucked up.”
“You’ve got to stop blaming yourself.”
Lann paced the room. “How can I not blame myself?”
“It’s not your fault. You didn’t know.”
Lann uttered a cold laugh. “Like hell it’s not my fault. If I’d stayed away from her…”
Joss crossed his arms. His gaze followed Lann as the latter moved around the room. “What matters now is that she needs you.”
Lann stopped. He placed his hands on his hips and hung his head. “She asked for a wish.”
For a while, Joss didn’t say anything. When he finally spoke, his gaze was somber. “What did she ask for?”
“To visit her parents.”
“That’s reasonable,” Joss said. “We’ll have to discuss safety measures and how much information she’s going to give them.”
Lann closed his eyes briefly. “I’m not sure I can handle it. If I witness her suffering, having to say goodbye to them, forever, and them not knowing…” He looked away.
“Remember what you told me when Clelia asked me for a wish?”
Lann nodded, but he didn’t look at Joss.
“You told me it had to be granted because that’s our rule,” Joss said.
“And you said we didn’t have any damn rules.”
“But you reminded me that wasn’t our code of conduct.”
Lann winced. “Don’t throw my own words back at me.”
Joss’s voice was soft but stern. “You have a duty.”