silence. A silence I’d already broken. So I looked up and said, “Lucy lost the baby.”
He studied my face for a long time. “Where is Lucy? Where will she go?”
“I don’t know. But I’m going to find her and I’m going to find out the truth,” I said.
“Uh, no, you’re not,” Howell said. I swear bureaucrats have a smug voice they save for moments like this, ones they can savor.
“Yes, I am. Look, Howell, if I was guilty and I was caught, I’d be cutting a deal. I don’t want your deal. I’m not going to confess to anything I haven’t done. Put away your knives and your waterboards because I will never confess to what I haven’t done. Ever. All I care about is finding Lucy.”
“Convince me, Sam. Tell me the whole story of what’s happened since New York and maybe I can help you find her. Who got you off the boat? Who’s been funding you and supplying you?”
“I can’t.”
“You helped a man escape who fired on me and my men.”
“I didn’t shoot at you. I killed men firing on your agents. They used to give medals for that.”
He grabbed my shirt and slammed my head against the van’s wall. It hurt. My body felt wracked with pain. “I want the whole truth, Sam. Everything.”
“Why don’t you believe me? Why? Why?” I screamed into his face. “Why don’t you even try to believe me?” Spittle from my mouth sprayed his face. He leaned back.
I fought for calm. Pain wracked my body. I’d been beaten, shot, and the implacable doubt on Howell’s face made me blind with rage. He just stared at me.
“Why aren’t we at a Company safe house?” I asked. “Why aren’t you recording what I’m saying, in front of witnesses? Where are the Dutch intelligence agents? None of this is protocol.”
“Pot, meet kettle,” he said. “Sam, you have no place to lecture me on right and wrong. The whole Company is going to know soon enough that you are a traitor.”
The word was like a lash against my skin. “I’m not a traitor.”
“You want me to believe you? Then tell me everything.”
I blew out a long hiss of air. I had to give him more to get to a position of strength. “This Edward used the Centraal Station bombing to kill the Money Czar we were investigating in London. A supposed financier for criminal networks, the biggest ones that connect back into government. I don’t understand why Edward killed this man, but he did,” I said. “He’s smuggling contraband, bad stuff, into the States and he needed that shipment I stole as camouflage for whatever he’s shipping. It could be a bomb, it could be plague, it could be people. I don’t know. I could have found out if you hadn’t interfered.”
“Let’s say you’re telling me the truth and that you are innocent. How did you find these people, Sam? How did you learn about them? How do you know any of these details? Who helped you find this Edward who got you into Holland?”
It was the wrong question. Realization bolted into my bones. “Don’t you care about what his operation is?”
“I don’t believe a word you say until you tell me who has been helping you.”
“Where is your curiosity about Edward’s shipment?”
“First things first.” He pushed a photo at me. Me and Mila, at the train station in Rotterdam. Then another one, at the train station in Amsterdam. “Who is this woman?”
I pretended to frown at the photo. “Someone who rode on the train with me. I don’t know her.”
“You do. We questioned a conductor on the train. You traveled together. You sat together and talked.”
“Oh, her. Yes. Lovely face but horrible breath. I offered her an Altoid. That was the extent of our interaction.”
“Bull. Where have you been staying in Amsterdam?”
“In hostels. Cheap, paying cash. I’m young enough to look like a wandering grad student.”
“Which hostels?”
“Let me get this straight,” I said. “I have just told you that the guy who bombed the London office is smuggling seriously dangerous goods into America, and you want to know what hostel I stayed at?”
“If he can smuggle this stuff in, it’s because you provided him with the camouflage,” Howell said. “What I’ve caught you doing is helping this guy.”
I heard a noise outside, like a man falling against the side of the van and sliding to the pavement. A yell.