little boy right in front of all the others. Just as Charles Bronson had done in the film, he told the little boy that carrying a gun wouldn’t make him a man; carrying responsibility was what would make him a man.
He explained that the men of their village were truly brave. They cared for their families, they went out to their fields and worked hard every single day, not knowing if they were going to be able to provide enough to eat, yet they worked their hardest nonetheless because their families were counting on them. That was courage.
The boys were ashamed of themselves, as they should have been, and they sulked off, leaving Harvath to contemplate his own courage, particularly as it related to relationships.
He wanted a family, but he knew what he did for a living would make that difficult. Having to disappear in the middle of the night, not knowing when or if he would be coming home was almost too much to ask of the people you loved.
He had watched SEAL marriages fall apart left, right, and center. But almost to a man, those SEALs had chosen incompatible women. There were SEALs who had solid marriages and they were always the envy of the rest of the men. Harvath had always wanted to be one of those guys, but the rigors of his career had made personal relationships difficult to establish, never mind maintain.
For the people of the United States to enjoy the American dream, someone had to protect it. Harvath saw himself as one of those protectors. In his worldview, there were wolves, there were sheep, and there were sheepdogs. He was a sheepdog—he always had been, even as a child when he befriended a mentally impaired kid next door who had been plagued by bullies. Harvath had never tolerated those who preyed upon the innocent or the weak. That wasn’t in his DNA. For better or for worse, he always did the right thing even if it cost him, which sometimes it had.
But his greatest fear was of failing. Failing his team, failing his country, failing himself. It drove him and was why he pushed himself as hard as he did. It was why he had become so good at what he did.
At some point, though, he knew he would have to dial it back. Not today, not tomorrow, but at some point he’d have to hand over the watch to someone younger, faster, and able to rebound in less time. He wasn’t twenty-two anymore. What’s more, he had met someone. She was a wonderful woman with a wonderful little boy and he had begun seeing the possibility of a life together with them.
Twisting the cap off the water bottle, he popped the Motrin in his mouth and stepped closer to the TV. Yul Brynner was about to deliver a great line. When asked by one of the village leaders how there could be a gunslinger who didn’t care about money, Brynner explained that men who carry guns for a living aren’t all alike. Some don’t care about money at all. Some, for their own reasons, simply enjoy the danger.
Harvath mouthed the words just as his father had done sitting next to him in that darkened theater in San Diego when he was a little boy. Then, grabbing a paper cup, he filled it with coffee and walked back to check on Yaqub.
Scobell stepped out of the berth to debrief Harvath on what he had learned. There were details about Yaqub’s organizational structure and how they moved men and supplies in and out of Waziristan. It was low-hanging fruit.
Harvath thanked him, told him to keep at it, and, coffee in hand, went forward to file his report.
After the submarine came up to periscope depth and his encrypted transmission had been sent, Harvath grabbed a quick shower and a shave before finding an empty bunk where he could get some sleep. It was cramped quarters, but it was warm and it was dry. This was the Four Seasons compared to some of the places he had been forced to sleep over the years.
Having left word with Scobell to wake him if Yaqub revealed anything that could be of value to their operation, he closed his eyes and, willing himself to relax, concentrated on slowing his breathing in order to help fall asleep.
As he did, his mind drifted to the four-man reconnaissance team the President had sent into North Korea. He tried to envision where they would