An Act of Persuasion - By Stephanie Doyle Page 0,44
and beautiful, he mused. He chose not to share that thought with her.
“Did you need something?”
You. “The bed is plenty big enough. We should both sleep here. It will be more comfortable for both of us.”
She gave him that look he was coming to know too well. The hell-no face.
“Anna, as you already pointed out, we’re both exhausted. Nothing sexual is going to happen and this makes more sense. Besides, if this does work between us, we will be sharing a bed in the future. We should get used to sleeping together.”
She said nothing, but he could see she was at least considering his suggestion. Hoping to convince her without words, he kicked off his loafers and placed them at the foot of the bed. He’d worn khakis and a polo shirt for their date. Not the most inspiring outfit, but he’d thought jeans would be too informal. He’d wanted her to know that he considered their date a very serious occasion. Lying down, he unfolded the blanket and then made room for her beside him.
“I sleep on the right.”
Instantly he moved over to the left side. She wore only a loose cotton dress that fell to her knees. Moving to her side of the bed cautiously, as if he might try to pounce, she awkwardly lowered herself as he tossed the blanket around her shoulders.
There was approximately two feet of space and a mile of unresolved stuff between them. But Ben still thought it was progress.
After a few minutes of stillness, Ben finally conceded maybe this hadn’t been such a great idea. They both needed to sleep, but their tense bodies wouldn’t let them.
“This is weird,” she mumbled.
“I sense that. I’m not sure why.”
“It’s really...intimate. I mean, we’re sleeping in the same bed.”
“Anna, I’ve been inside your body. We’ve made a child together. I’m not sure that sleeping together while fully clothed should be considered more intimate.”
“Probably not. But it is.”
He sighed then moved closer to her. Wrapping his hand around her waist he pulled her back against his chest and tucked her into the curve of his body. She resisted at first, but when he settled on the pillow next to her, he could feel her starting to relax.
“Why didn’t you say anything after that night? Why did you wait days before even bringing up the subject at all? You could have confronted me and told me how you felt then.”
He wasn’t sure where the question came from, but she was right. Lying together in a quiet bedroom in the middle of the afternoon listening to the sound of the air-conditioning unit hum was intimate. Like anything they said to each other would be okay. Would be real.
“I don’t know. Part of it was stubbornness. I wanted you to bring it up first. When you didn’t, I assumed you didn’t want to rehash it. Then I thought...it’s so stupid.”
“Tell me.”
“I thought maybe we didn’t have to talk about it. Maybe we could just slip into this relationship without you having to admit how you felt and it would be easier for you. Less messy.”
“Or having to admit how you felt, either.”
She twisted her neck so she could see him. “I guess so. I guess it makes me a little bit of a coward. I should have come clean with you from the start. But then I felt you pushing me away...”
“I wasn’t. I mean...I didn’t want you to feel like that. I just didn’t want to fight you about the stem cell procedure.”
She was quiet then, but he sensed she wasn’t done asking questions.
“So, if I had told you that I had feelings for you before you got sick, what would you have done?”
He would have fired her. He would have fired her rather than admit that somewhere deep inside he craved those feelings from her. “I don’t know,” he lied.
“I thought so. I think we both knew it was easier for us to say nothing. And that was true before and after that night.”
Ben pulled her a little tighter. “Maybe, but saying nothing cost me. I lost you for weeks because of it. So I’ll say this. I had a really nice day today.”
He could feel her body react to his words. “Me, too.”
“This feels nice with you in my arms.”
There was a moment of hesitation then finally she sighed. “I guess.”
“We’re going to make this work, Anna. You’ll see.”
He fell asleep quickly, content in the knowledge that he had made progress that day. And it didn’t