An Act of Persuasion - By Stephanie Doyle Page 0,27
floor instead of carpet. In the freezer he found a pint of triple chocolate fudge. He held it out to her. “Will this do?”
With a spoon already in hand she practically bounced on her feet. “Gimme, gimme.”
Given her enthusiastic pouncing on the container he was surprised to see his hand still attached when he brought it back empty.
It was so quintessentially Anna. No half measures for her. Ever. She was the kind of woman who bounced up and down for ice cream and ate it directly out of the carton.
That lack of middle ground was why he knew when they were working together that, despite his attraction to her, she would always be wrong for him in any type of relationship outside of their professional one. Of all the women to choose from for marriage and parenting, he never would have considered Anna. Not that he had thought much about marriage or a long-term relationship, but when he had, he conceded he would need something distinctly different from Anna. Someone more sedate, more practical. Someone like him, who would understand him.
She understands you better than anyone.
The thought came and went. It didn’t matter what he thought he wanted in a relationship anymore. He and Anna were in one. They’d had sex. They’d made a baby. While he had to concede he didn’t see her letting him drag her to the altar any time soon, he did want to solidify and define them as...something. A couple. Expecting parents. Something.
In the living room Anna sat on the couch, her legs crossed Indian style, and her mouth puffy around an oversize spoon of ice cream.
“Are you feeling better?”
“Hmm... Good.”
“Then can we get back to our conversation earlier? I asked you to come live with me. So I can take care of you.”
She swallowed and set down the container. “You did.”
“Then you burst into tears.”
“I told you—”
“I know. Hormones. But why did the idea of living with me bring on said hormones? We’ve done it before, Anna. I’m not asking you to share my bed. I just want to go back to the way things were.”
Suddenly an image of her in his bed popped to mind and forced him to turn his back to her slightly so she wouldn’t see his thickening erection. He needed to get control of this. It was embarrassing. He was a walking hard-on around this woman.
She unfolded her legs and stood. He could see she was gathering up courage for some big proclamation.
“I can’t go back to the way things were, Ben.”
“Why not? Just a simple answer.”
“Because it will hurt too much,” she said sadly. She walked up to him and rubbed his arm like she was soothing a child. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine.”
“What are you saying? Speak coherently.”
“Since I was six years old I lived in three different foster homes. The longest I had stayed anywhere since my mother abandoned me, was with you. In your office, then in your home when you got sick. Don’t you get it?”
“No. What am I supposed to get?”
“You became my home. You became my family. I fell in love with you.”
He jerked at the words. “Please don’t be melodramatic.”
She smiled and rubbed his arm again. “I know. You don’t like the messy stuff. But it’s true.”
“I don’t know what to say.” His chest felt hollow and he had to concentrate to breathe.
“Let me get it all out. Now, once and for all, and then you’ll see why I’m not going to marry you or live with you or anything like that. You were my life, my reason for getting up. You made me happy and angry and sad. That night we had sex was the most amazing night of my life because I thought you finally understood what I felt. And I thought...I thought maybe you felt...something, too.”
I did. Only he couldn’t seem to get the words out.
“But then you shut me out completely. You made this decision that could have ended your life.”
“It didn’t. It worked. I’m alive because of it.”
She shook her head and pressed her lips together. “Maybe. It doesn’t matter. To me it was like having my mother walk away all over again. You were willing to leave me. To take that risk, without even considering how I might feel about it. Any chance we had, any hope I had...it was done then. I had to face the truth. You didn’t care for me like I cared about you and that night was only about