An Act of Persuasion - By Stephanie Doyle Page 0,104

need to make cooing noises—because that’s what everyone did when they saw pictures of Kelly—just because he was sitting across from her and she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d done something that actually pleased her.

“Look, Sophie, if we’re going to get through this, we’re going to need to talk.”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

Here in body, true. After shopping, he’d taken her to one of his favorite pizza places and they had ordered a couple of slices and some sodas. The plan was to take all the stuff they’d bought to Anna and Ben’s place so that Sophie would get to actually squee over Kelly.

That’s right. He wasn’t opposed to using his friend’s child to score points with his intractable daughter.

“Your grandparents said you guys had a long talk.”

She lifted a shoulder. “We did.”

“You see what kind of shape they are in. You’re a highly intelligent girl—you know they can’t continue to stay in that house.”

“I know it,” she said. He knew what the admission cost her. There was no point to rubbing it in. The girl had lost her mother so he didn’t need to point out how sickly her grandparents were, too. The fact that she knew she couldn’t stay with them in the house was even more progress. Now, he needed her to come around to the alternative.

“I get why this stinks for you. I really do. But I’m not the worst guy in the world. If you’re honest with yourself, you can acknowledge at least that. I blew it as a dad. I sent cards and gifts and money instead of being there in person because I was off fighting a war for our country—”

“Oh, please. Don’t make it out like you were drafted or something. Mom told me that’s why you didn’t want to get married. Because you wanted to be some superspy guy like James Bond.”

“James Bond is a fictional character. What I did was real. But you’re right. I wanted that life.”

Mark had to own that. Honesty was the only policy in this case. He couldn’t get tripped up in any kind of lie without pushing her away even more. The truth was he had no idea what Helen had told Sophie about him and their decision not to get married. He could only tell Sophie what he knew, without, of course, letting her know what her mom had done to get pregnant.

“You wanted to leave.”

“No, that’s not fair. From the time I could remember, I knew I wanted to be a CIA agent. But when I found out your mom was pregnant I was willing to let it go for you. Did she tell you that? As soon as we knew about you, I proposed.”

Sophie nodded. Then started to shred the paper napkin she was holding. “She said she would have made you miserable. That you would have made each other miserable because she would know the whole time that you had sacrificed your ambition for her. She said you would have resented her and then she would have resented you because she would know we weren’t enough for you.”

Maybe a little too much information for a teenage girl to know about her father. But it was true, and he had to own that, too. “My whole life I wanted this one thing. Then you came along and I knew I had to let it go. And, truly, I didn’t want to leave you. I didn’t know what being a dad would be like but part of me was excited. That’s the truth. But your mom wasn’t wrong. Sometimes I think she knew me better than myself.”

“She was really intuitive.”

“Yes, she was.” Mark thought it was good to hear Sophie talk about Helen. Sophie hadn’t done enough of that around him. Probably because she didn’t talk much at all around him. “I would like to think I would never have resented my choice. I did love your mom back then. I know I wouldn’t have resented you. You were totally innocent. But maybe your mom saw something in me that made her think I wasn’t the best bet as a father. While that still might be true, I’m the only one you have.”

“I don’t even, like, know you.”

Mark nodded. Again he was pleased. For the first time he actually thought they were communicating. She was talking and, more importantly, she was listening. “Then we get to know each other. You move in with me and we move your grandparents