About Tomorrow - Abbi Glines Page 0,67

on mine. “Because of you.”

All the words I wanted to say, all the questions I had, seemed to melt away as I stood there looking back at him. I managed a “Why?” because I didn’t understand it. I didn’t understand him.

“Why?” he repeated then he gave a small shake of his head. “You want to know why,” he continued. “Fine. I’ll tell you why, Sailor. I fell in love with a girl when I was ten years old. She was all I wanted in life. We got older and she was everything to me. She was so much to me that I could see nothing but her. I didn’t notice when my twin sister was hurting. I didn’t see the changes in her because all I could see was you. Then we found her. She was gone. I was seventeen and I blamed myself and I blamed you for making me love you so damn much. Seeing you reminded me of her and how I’d failed her. I believed that if I denied myself the one girl I knew I would always love that maybe I could forgive myself.”

My eyes were burning and I blinked, not wanting the tears to fall. My hands were tightly fisted at my sides and breathing hurt so badly.

“Then you came back. I had my future all laid out and you walked into the room and nothing else mattered to me. Just like that it was all there roaring to the surface and the worst part was you weren’t mine. You were his. I’d lost you. Leaving for England would have been the smart thing for me to do but you’re right. I’m not selfless. I am fucking selfish. I canceled it all so I could be near you.”

I felt a sob escape me and I covered my mouth to keep it quiet. This was not what I’d expected to hear from him when I’d asked. This was rawer than anything we’d ever said to each other. All the darkness, the pain, the destruction was laid bare with the truth.

Creed ran a hand over his face. “I can honestly say that I didn’t stay here to ruin your relationship. I didn’t want to cause you any pain. I wanted to be near you. I needed to be near you. But I also can’t tell you I didn’t want you for myself. Because I did. I always have. I wish I could regret it, feel bad for it, but I can’t. I love you, Sailor Copeland, and I fucking always will. I’ve tried not to. I’ve done everything in my power not to love you and I failed.”

My face was wet with tears and I didn’t wipe them away. He’d said everything I had needed him to say. He’d answered every question I had ever had about us. Yet to give me that truth, it had hurt him. I moved toward him, only knowing I wanted to comfort him.

He stiffened and I stopped. Lifting my eyes to his I studied his expression. He was no longer able to keep it closed off, not now that he’d said all he had. His secrets were no more.

“Why didn’t you fight for me then? When I told you Griff came, you didn’t even listen to me or talk to me.”

“Sailor, you’ve told me you loved him. I wanted you to be sure it was me you loved more. I didn’t want to force you to choose me when I was the one who shut you out six years ago. It was your choice. No matter how bad it would destroy me. I had to let you make it.”

I closed the space between us then and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my face against his chest. His arms wrapped around me tightly and held me there. We didn’t say anything for several minutes and I didn’t think words needed to be said.

He had always been my choice, but until now, I hadn’t realized I was his. My not knowing why or how he felt led me to not trust him.

“The night Griff came here, he said he’d seen you at the bar. A girl was in your lap.” I had to get that out. It was the only other thing standing between me truly being able to trust Creed.

“And he came straight here and told you that?”

I nodded.

Creed shook his head with a scowl. “Son of a bitch,” he muttered.

I liked Griff’s mother and she wasn’t a bitch,