40-Love - Olivia Dade Page 0,24

with various phone numbers inscribed on them, but empty of him in every important way.

It was gorgeous here on the island, of course. Easy.

But what was he doing here, really? How long did he actually intend to stay?

His voice emerged thick, for reasons he couldn’t have explained. “My current contract lasts until the end of the year. At that point, I could sign on for another year or do something else.”

What would that something else be, though?

What did he really have to offer?

You could do pretty much anything, given the right training.

In the breeze, her hair blew against his cheek, and he resisted the urge to gather handfuls of the silky strands and bury his face. Hide himself until he sorted out what he was thinking and how he was feeling, other than lost and disoriented.

She tapped her knuckles against the rail. “Do you think you’ll commit to another year?”

The question sounded odd. Tentative, when Tess usually spoke firmly, with ease and authority. She was staring down at the water, her brow pinched as wave after wave piled on shore and wore away those rocks bit by bit.

“I don’t know.” His voice wavered, which was humiliating. So he straightened and offered her a lazy grin, complete with another wink. “You know how it is, right? I need to live in the moment. Get my fill of the sun, sand, and relaxation and not worry about what’s coming next.”

Even though he was willing her to look, to see how unbothered he was, how confident, she just blinked down at the water some more.

“Ah.” She was silent for a long time. “I see.”

He fumbled for a different topic. “You never did tell me what you and Belle did for your birthday. Did y—”

“Excuse me.” A low, feminine voice came from the top of the stairs, and under the harsh island sun, a familiar white-clad figure glowed like a ghost. “Sorry to interrupt, but I need to head to my spa appointment, and I wanted to catch you before your next lesson, Lucas. One of your coworkers said you were up here.”

For just a moment, he wanted to slam his head against the rail.

Fuck. Fuck it all.

He should have fucking remembered. It was the first Thursday in August, and Karolina had arrived. One of his favorite clients. Amusing. Smart. She visited the island like clockwork, reserving a long weekend every month to spend time with her equally-wealthy girlfriends, intent on being pampered, having fun, taking tennis lessons with the island’s star instructor, and…

Well, she knew what she wanted, and he hadn’t minded giving it to her.

“I wanted to find out when you’d be free for dinner, but you weren’t answering your cell.” She directed a gleaming smile toward Tess, who’d eased a step back from the rail. From him. “I didn’t mean to intrude, ma’am. I’ll be gone in a moment. And you picked the exact right person to ask for help. Lucas knows everything about the island.”

All evidence of the picnic had been packed away. She thought Tess was a random tourist who’d cornered him for information.

To her credit, Karo’s smile, her reassurance, was genuine. She wasn’t mean, or he’d never have allowed even their limited sort of relationship. But Tess didn’t know that, and she could surely hear the proprietary tone of the other woman, could surely see the way Karolina looked at him, as if he were her favorite toy on this island of countless amenities.

Which he supposed he was. In the past, that hadn’t bothered him.

But now, wariness was blooming once more on Tess’s lovely, round face.

“Karolina, I’m not—” Unsure what to say, he pressed his lips shut.

He couldn’t simply send her away and tell her he no longer wanted dinner with her, that he was aching to spend more time with the silent, still woman beside him instead. Karo deserved better than a public termination of their very private—if very casual—arrangement, and she deserved an actual conversation before he put an end to what they’d had.

But if he chose Karo over Tess now, Tess would never, ever look at him that way again. The way she had mere minutes ago. With soft eyes and curiosity and openness and approval.

This was his one and only shot with her. He knew it.

Maybe he shouldn’t want that shot, but he did. More than he was comfortable admitting.

He respected both women. He wanted his actions to show it. Maybe he could ask Tess to wait at the bottom of the steps for