I walked upstairs to grab Updike’s leash. He needed a walk. I needed a walk. We had things to discuss, he and I, and once outside, once there were a few blocks of chilly night air behind us, I told him the truth.
“I just want you to know…that…what happened to your mom…wasn’t something I wanted.”
I let that admission hang in the air. I almost had the feeling someone was following us, but I felt that way a lot lately.
I lowered my voice regardless. “I’m, uh, I’m sorry she’s gone.”
We walked in silence a bit. He peed on three bushes.
“What I’m trying to tell you is, I did it in self-defense. She was trying to murder me. She and Milt, they were conspiring to…” I stopped. Again I heard someone following us.
Had to be pure paranoia. Updike would’ve growled long before I would’ve noticed anything. Although there was now something oddly enticing for him wedged in the side bushes. Nothing unusual—for a dog to stop for a sniff—but it did seem peculiar that someone had left what looked like a piece of raw steak by the sidewalk.
“What is that?” I said to him.
Updike is never opposed to a second or ninth dinner, so he wasn’t going to question it.
I only had to look up to see the explanation.
Two guys in ski masks.
Chapter 28
Updike saw them, too. He instantly took off for the closest guy, top speed.
“Updike, no!” I yelled.
The man saw the snarling little jaws and hopped up the slope of the nearest front yard, then sprinted around the back as a midsize dog pursued him deep into the shrubbery.
“Updike!” I started running.
And soon the other ski mask guy was running after me. We all emerged through the foliage in a footrace down the alley. I didn’t have my gun with me, which was stupid, and there weren’t any places to duck into, so it would be a clean shot for them.
“Updike, no!” I yelled.
My main concern, only concern, was my dog. When I rounded the corner I saw no sign of him or the first guy who had pursued him. I had to assume this was a good thing. Maybe his canine GPS would guide him home.
And then they’d know where I lived, if they didn’t already.
I should’ve been rifling through my mental list of who could possibly be chasing me, so I could make a plan, but that line of thinking was cut short when I was put in a choke hold from behind.
The assailant had come out of nowhere. He must’ve dropped his knife or his pistol, or whatever he had, because he chose to grapple me. His partner arrived just in time to participate.
I’m not a huge guy. But I’m scrappy. We fought hard. One guy in front of me. One guy choking me from behind. The ideal maneuver here would have been for me to exploit the grip of the guy behind me by flinging my legs upward and kicking the chin of the guy in front.
“Stay still!” shouted one of them.
The time was ripe. I leapt upward from my half squat and launched a karate kick at the forward guy.
And missed.
Absolutely missed. Airballed, then came crashing down on the ground in a heap of athletic shame. However, it was a fall that also brought my primary assailant down with me.
“Ooooooph,” said everyone.
We were all stunned. The guy in front had his gun, but because of the new tangle, he had no clear shot. So I had a moment to kick toward his jaw. Another Michael Ryan kick—my foot naturally caught his kneecap instead. I’d somehow neutralized both my opponents in two sad moves and seized my first chance to scramble off.
I could hear them follow.
I didn’t want to head into my own backyard but that seemed like the only way to get my hands on a weapon. I hopped my fence, sprinted through the tall grass (that Maria used to complain I never cut), and prepared my shoulder for the impact that was coming as I busted down my own back door.
I’d stashed weapons in my house for emergency purposes: the shotgun was upstairs, the revolver was upstairs, the Taser was upstairs, and the Glock 19 with laser sight was in the kitchen cupboard, where I was heading, full speed until I collided with a third ski mask guy. Who elbowed me in the throat like only a professional would.
And knocked me out cold.
Chapter 29
I woke up gradually, minutes later, on the floor of my