Zodiac Academy Fated Throne - Caroline Peckham Page 0,43

“Such a large trout you are.”

“That’s my trout she’s talking about,” Max said cockily, getting to his feet and Geraldine’s foot shot out, slamming right into his dick. He crumpled forward with a wheeze and she pushed him aside as he got up, tutting under her breath.

“You are always in my breathing space, Max Rigel, if you don’t want your Long Sherman in my way then take your leave.”

“How is that my fault?” Max asked indignantly.

“How is it not your fault?” She started doing her morning stretches, bending down to touch her toes and rocking her hips side to side while Max drooled over her and forgot all about their argument.

The first thing I came across as I raised my Atlas was my horoscope and I read it over as I tried to concentrate on waking up and getting my brain into gear for the day.

Good morning, Gemini.

The stars have spoken about your day!

Beware of changes and upheaval throwing you off balance today. It may seem like times are at their toughest, but don’t forget that everything can always get worse. So try to remain calm in the face of adversity and play the long game if you wish to succeed.

Great. Even my horoscope knew how fucked everything was right now.

I tapped on FaeBook next to see the world imploding and the first post that came up was one from Tyler.

Tyler Corbin: Back. The. Fuck. Up.

Does anyone else need a recap right now?

Big L shows up at the palace with some crazy smoke blowing outta his ass, a Vega on his arm and Clara Orion who looks fresh back from the dead (uh, hello? Have you heard of sunlight, dear? ‘Cause you got veins coming outta your veins).

Anyways, Big L starts spewing this speech about gifts from the stars and holy Dragons and fuck knows what else, but hold up, was anyone actually paying attention to Clara at this point? The girl LEGIT started floating, no lie (screenshot below).

Now I’m not saying this girl is a zombie dragged outta the depths of hell, shoved in a long (albeit hot) dress with a demon possessing that fine body of hers. But okay, I’m calling it. Because WTF???

King Lionel just took over and the press haven’t printed a SINGLE WORD about floaty McGee over here who ‘disappeared’ years ago and miraculously reappeared like she just popped out of Lionel’s buttcrack – and frankly, that would explain the translucence a bit but not enough for me to back the theory a hundred percent. I’m not entirely ruling it out though, because Big L has buns of steel and I wouldn’t put it past him to have shrunk her down to the size of Thumbelina and wedged her between them as punishment for drinking his favourite tropical punch Kool-Aid or some shit – but what was she living on up his ass all these years – butt dust???

I digress. Point is, can we all focus on the bigger issue than Lionel taking the throne, that being one scary ass see-through bitch who, rumour has it, calls Big L ‘DADDY’.

#nope #Imout #onetickettoanywhereplease #whatdoesbuttdusttastelikethough #crackwhore #oneguywatchedthewholeshowthroughthebackofherhead #ghostestwiththemostest

Eliza Smoot: Oh my stars! She’s a #flyinorion

Cat Vann: I wouldn’t mind getting up in Lionel’s #crustycrack

Lacey Ledlow: I wish I could #tropicalpunch our new king in the face

Gizelle Alea Oyelade: Do not speak ill of our king or his wonderful Guardian!! #thetruekinghasrisen

Shabnam Hosseini: Do you think Big L has a big D? #daddydick

Cynthia Rodriguez: I’d call him Daddy and let him put me between his buns of steel any day of the week #signmeup #putmeinyourclenchtrench

“God, I’m not ready for this day,” I said heavily, not even finding it in me to smile at Tyler’s post. And that was a damn shame because it was funny as hell. I also figured he could probably know the truth about Clara now as Lionel had outed his shady shit to the whole world anyway so I made a mental note to fill him in.

“Your mortal talk is so weird, is it because they think they’re all ruled by Zeus or something?” Seth asked and I realised he was nibbling on a piece of my hair. I batted him away and stood up, draining my coffee.

“Or something,” I snorted then headed into the bathroom. Before the door had swung closed, Geraldine strode in behind me, whipping off her top and revealing her large breasts before dropping her pants and walking into the gaudy golden shower which screamed of Darius Acrux.

I brushed my teeth