Zodiac Academy Fated Throne - Caroline Peckham Page 0,140

bed with him and Clara tonight, so I figure drinking myself to oblivion before then is preferable."

"Maybe you could stab him in his sleep?" Orion suggested.

"If only," I said but even those words made me feel physically ill and my heart began to race with panic at the thought of any harm coming to the man I was supposed to want dead more than anything in the world.

I rubbed at the Aries mark on my arm, trying to shake off the desire to go and check that Lionel was okay and Orion reached out to take my hand.

"One time I got so mad at Darius that I tried to punch him, but I ended up hitting myself in the face instead," Orion said, squeezing my fingers in his and I groaned as I leaned back against the couch, realising I was in the company of the one person I knew who might actually understand the way I was feeling about this shit.

I looked into Orion’s dark eyes, wondering if I could admit the crazy thoughts that kept running through my head about the man who had stolen our throne. With anyone else, I felt like they couldn’t possibly understand this and I’d avoided talking about it, but he knew, he’d lived with this kind of bond for years.

"At night I lay in bed trying to list all the reasons I have to hate Lionel," I murmured, embarrassment clawing at me over what I was about to admit. "But I always end up thinking about how luscious his hair is and how he smells like the best combination of iron and charcoal and… how perfect his scowl is." I was cringing as I said it, but I was also picturing that scowl and missing it so much it hurt. It was fucked up.

"His scowl?" Orion laughed and I smiled a little too even though I knew how fucking crazy it sounded.

"Well...he doesn't really smile very often," I shrugged, closing my eyes against how goddamn mortifying it was to feel like that about a man I knew deep down I freaking hated. But somehow, with Orion I didn't mind. I knew he'd understand because he had been forced into a Guardian bond too. Though at least he loved the guy he was bonded to.

"Have you ever noticed how tall Darius is? And how strong he is?" Orion asked, a smirk playing around his lips. "Or how his eyes have little flecks of gold mixed in amongst the brown?"

"Yeah," I said, biting my lip as I thought about him. There was still a trickle of fear mixed in with the butterflies I felt when he crossed my mind and it was hard for me to figure out exactly what I was feeling there, but there was no questioning the way he looked. "He's pretty fucking nice to look at."

"And spoon with," Orion added with a grin. "One time while I was in Darkmore, I drew all of his tattoos from memory alone just because I couldn't stop thinking about them. And then I stuck the pictures to the wall beside my bed so I could kinda feel like he was there while I was sleeping."

We both laughed in a hopeless kind of way and I sighed as I leaned my head back against the couch and turned to look at him.

"I'm glad someone understands my fucked up thoughts," I said honestly because it was so hard for me to be dealing with all of these conflicting emotions for Lionel while everyone else just hated him so ferociously. And it wasn't like I disagreed, but I felt like such a fucking freak for secretly looking forward to seeing him tonight and wanting to hold him in my arms while knowing that was insane.

"We'll work this out, I promise," Orion said and I nodded because I knew that we would. Either by figuring out some way to break the bond or by Lionel dying - no matter how much the idea of that made me feel sick to my core.

"I didn't just come here to socialise," I said, sighing as I leaned forward and placed my empty glass down. "I actually came to warn you to expect a visitor in a little while through the tunnels.”

"Who?" he asked and I didn't miss the hopeful tone to his voice.

"Darcy," I confirmed. "Gabriel said it's important the two of us are in the palace tonight so after Lionel and Clara go to sleep, I'll sneak back out