Zenith in Love (Zenith Series #5) - Leanne Davis Page 0,76
So, what happened? Other than the obvious, what made you run away?”
“I started to realize how wrong that man was… His name is Jimmy, so now you see where my preference to be called Jim came from? Anyway, I call him that. As far as I’m concerned, I’ll never call him my father.”
“Okay.”
His fingertips dug into her arm. “Anyway, I knew it wasn’t normal for Jimmy to make a living by conning old women and gullible couples to wipe out their family savings and give it all to him. His strange communes and weekend retreats were bizarre. Not everyone lived there. Many just came to stay for a few days or worship after a misfortune. He’d go into these crazy, tongue-wagging, shrill yells and singing fits while claiming the spirits were talking to him. He scared me at times when I was really young. I had nightmares and I wet the bed for a long time. Way past the normal age to stop wetting the bed. I hid it from the people I lived with and got really good at doing my own laundry.”
“Oh, Jim.”
He nodded without a reaction. “By the time I started middle school, I knew there was something evil about Jimmy and what he did for money. There were lots of things I didn’t like. I witnessed awful sights that were really disgusting and I felt ashamed by it.”
“How old were you?”
He released her and rubbed his hands together between his legs. That was his go-to gesture when he got nervous and Kayla recognized it now. She sat back on her haunches, sensing he needed more space. Her stomach roiled with nerves at hearing his sordid tale.
“I was probably ten or eleven before I fully understood what it meant. But I saw things as young as six or seven. Not a lot. But things I shouldn’t have witnessed.”
“Like what, Jim?”
“Sexual activities. Jimmy frequently had relations with the wives of his believers. The freaking husbands gave their wives to him voluntarily. Their daughters too. There were lots of orgies. Kinky, perverted sex that no decent person would imagine or wish for.”
She shut her eyes. Yeah, that would mess up a little kid. She had no idea. The boundaries that were crossed left an indelible mark.
“That wasn’t the worst of it.”
She gulped as her dread made stomach acid climb up her throat. “What was the worst?” Her tone was grave and low as her belly churned with trepidation.
Jim lowered his head into his hands and rubbed it. In the past, this was usually when she got angry at him. She thought he wasn’t answering because he was ashamed of her or just didn’t want to talk. Now she believed Jim was searching for the right words to explain. She felt ashamed for being so impatient and demanding as a conversationalist. She could bounce from one topic to the next with speed and efficiency. Her words always came easy and she never had trouble explaining her thoughts. She was always quick and sharp.
Jim was sharp as well. But his sermons took days to write and hours of rehearsal and deep thought. His apartment displayed the sheer volumes of the literature the man consumed. But his thoughts and the right words to express them never happened fast for Jim. All she gathered from him was an absence of intimacy in his relationships. Kathy had urged him to speak on any topics he felt comfortable with like religion, the church, his sermons and favorite hymns. His knowledge of those things was vast and speaking about them came easy.
But this stuff? He needed a lot more time to find the words and collect his thoughts before he could express himself. He kept facing the floor without speaking. She didn’t push him to engage anymore. She allowed him his privacy and waited patiently for him to continue.
Cringing at all the times she’d snapped at him, now she was glad to sit back, be quiet, and wait for him to figure it out. She hoped she’d have some space to figure him out too.
When he spoke, there was no preamble. “Boys. Jimmy liked young boys.”
Her breath hissed through her nose. It hurt her as much as she feared. “You? He abused you too?”
“No. Not me. Only because I knew enough to understand what was happening to boys of my age. He abused the sons of so many of his followers and some of their parents didn’t know what he was doing. But the others? That