Zenith in Love (Zenith Series #5) - Leanne Davis Page 0,69
yet. She had to talk to Jim first.
All she wanted to do was talk to Jim. He had to explain himself and make it go away and not be so terrible as she feared.
Bender. Binge. Jim was a freaking alcoholic.
Her stepfather was a recovered alcoholic who made no compunctions about admitting it. He often used his own experiences to illustrate the lessons he imparted to her and her sisters.
Words he’d told them one lecture, years ago, filtered through her brain just then. “You can’t change them. Or fix them. Or save them. No one could for me. Not until I was ready. Lots of people were in my corner and they all tried. But I only got worse and worse until my behavior went beyond the bounds of decency, and still I persisted. So you have to understand, try to avoid having a relationship with an active alcoholic. They will not make your life kind. They’ll be very sorry. Later. But they will always do it again. Understand that.”
His long-winded lesson was often repeated.
And now here she sat. Waiting for the first man she imagined as a boyfriend, and she has to wait until he wakes up from a bender? Being passed out was kind of gross. She found solace in cleaning up his slovenly, uninhabitable apartment.
She could not, however, feel like this. Or do this again. There was little doubt of that for her.
How could this be Jim?
Her stomach hurt. Nothing sounded appetizing to eat. Sighing, she rose to her feet and stepped out into the corridor. Carlos was on her detail today. “I’m staying over for the night. You should call in for relief.”
“Thank you for the heads-up.”
“Do you tell anyone where I am currently located?”
“No. Just whoever is replacing me.” He hesitated. “Eric will know though.”
“Yeah. I figured that. Can you pass along that it’s private and lie about where I am?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She sighed, tired of dealing with her father’s fame today. “Kayla. Please. I’m not a ma’am yet.” Then she smiled when he laughed and nodded.
Stepping back inside, she was guiltless now as she dropped to the couch, clutching the throw pillow to her stomach and leaning her head back on the armrest. The very same spot where Jim was first drunk with her. Then he showed her he was not at all like she ever thought. So why would that change now?
Depressed, she closed her eyes to the hot tears and hurt as she started to worry over what that must mean.
Why did it hurt so much to realize he might have a problem, an addiction, she could not sign up for or deal with? She knew the ropes and refused to sentence herself or be imprisoned by it. Its unpredictability. Its sickness. Its endless cycle. Its constant apologies. Then it all starts again. The helplessness and hurt of a behavior she didn’t cause or want. And the hurts and emotions of the unintended consequences. No. Nope, she could not do this.
The heaviness settled over her in a deep depression.
Jim Zavarian wasn’t anything like she thought or hoped. Her initial impression that he was awesome and exciting and amazing to discover was so wrong. Turned out to be the opposite.
Chapter 12
JIM ROLLED OVER AND something burst, exploding deep inside his brain. His stomach heaved as he leapt from bed, stumbling blindly through the fog of his head. Dizziness overtook him and he rushed to the toilet. Sighing with relief, he got there in time. Thank God. He leaned over the porcelain bowl, heaving the last drop of moisture from inside his body.
Damn. That hurt. He stayed there for a prolonged time, to be sure he was done. His head split with an ache like a cleaver was hacked through it. Rising up, he had to hold onto the counter to steady himself as the sudden movement made his head spin. It seemed as if the ground were attacking him although nothing really moved. He shut his eyes to dismiss the sensation but that didn’t stop it. Groping for the sink, he found it and ran the water for a while. He splashed cold water on his face and into his mouth before spitting out the vile concoction that was setting up residence in there. Feeling around for the bottle or glass or whatever was close by, he paused when his hands felt a smooth and very empty counter.