Zenith in Love (Zenith Series #5) - Leanne Davis Page 0,61
but not mine. So what you see is correct. And I do want you to come to church; in fact, I like knowing how much you want to. Especially since you never were religious or into worship. But right now, I can’t work it out. I still feel weird after the shooting and I think if you’re here, I’ll mess it up.”
She curled her lip to one side, thinking. “Let me get this straight, you like me but it’s so new, you think you’ll get nervous if you spot me in the audience? What? You’ll worry about my opinion? Or that I’ll give you performance anxiety?”
“Yes. You will.”
“Everyone in the congregation sitting there judges you each Sunday.”
“Right. But none of them are you. And much as I’m bungling it by telling you, everyone doesn’t matter to me.”
She twisted her lip the other way. “You said, not even Kathy?”
He snorted. “You know that. You were there. I guess it makes me nervous to imagine preaching in front of you. I will eventually. Maybe not this first one though.”
“It’s stupid. I’m the woman you claim to be so… what? Enamored with? Does that word work for you?” Her tone was snotty, angry, and exasperated.
“It actually works quite well.”
“Well, good, I don’t want to be too specific or get emotional. You think you can’t preach with me around because of the anxiety that I cause inside you? It’s sweet in a strange way, but also insulting! If I’m that special person for you, you should be asking me to come.”
“Just this time! Kayla, every single person who sees us will realize what I feel about you if we’re together. Give me some more time to find the answer and the balls to admit it publicly. I’ll get there. I promise I will. Just not this Sunday.”
She blew out a gust of air. “I suppose that makes sense. I just wish you’d find the balls to tell me what you’re freaking afraid the others will see.”
He took her hand. He wasn’t ready yet and she couldn’t extract something from him that even he wasn’t sure about. Taking her hand in his, it felt small and silky. He rubbed it before kissing her knuckles. The gesture earned him a half smile and a glare. “You’re so infuriating.”
“You’re so beautiful.”
She tilted her head curiously. “That isn’t something you’ve ever said to me before.”
“I’m above it most of the time. As a man of God, I see your soul and all that. Mortal exteriors aren’t what attracts me.”
She snorted. “That’s a load of—”
“Kayla. Church. Come on.”
“Fine, then, malarkey.” She made a face and he guessed it wasn’t a word she ever used before. “You do too. You notice it and act on it because you’re just a guy.”
“Yes. And I think you are beautiful. Accept the truth and my thanks. For tonight.”
She tilted her head. “You’re welcome. For tonight. But you owe me a sermon. And it had better be your very best one.”
“It will be the sum of my greatest words and wisdom.”
“You’re such an ass.”
He grabbed her and lowered his head to kiss her. When he released her, she blinked up at him in surprise. “I didn’t expect that here, Pastor Jim.”
He smiled as the flow of something warm went through him. Something very bubbly burst out, a laugh. In this room. Without Kayla, that never could happen. “When anyone else says Pastor Jim, it sounds cheery and nice, respectful and interested. From you? It always sounds dirty.” He waggled his eyebrows. He was flirting with this woman, in his church, the scene of a shooting and death. It was crazy. But without her, Jim couldn’t stand there and manage to replace all the terrible trauma with something sweet. A little bit naughty, and slightly wrong for the room they were in, but it definitely changed the atmosphere.
“Because every time I say it, I mean for it to sound dirty. Pastor Jim.” Her salacious tone and the tip of her tongue when she licked her bottom lip suggestively were so sexy and lustful that he knew she wanted to get a rise out of him.
He grabbed her arms and put them behind her back, holding her wrists together tightly like a pair of handcuffs. “You are misbehaving in church, Ms. Randall. As your spiritual guide and leader, I’m afraid I have to punish you for that…”
She smirked. “You are not my leader. In any way, shape, or form, Pastor Jim.”