Zenith in Love (Zenith Series #5) - Leanne Davis Page 0,59
strength to others, I must do this, so that they can. The purpose is to start healing together. And, Kayla. I think I can do that. But finding the words right now… just escapes me. I want to forgive the kid who died right there.” His gaze darted to the spot where the boy’s body fell. The pool of blood was long gone, of course, concealed by the new flooring, leaving nothing in the wake of his death.
“Talk about coming together, finding strength in each other this week. Don’t bring up the cause of the pain or need for forgiveness. Not yet. Discuss Eric’s bravery and thank everyone who donated so much money to rebuild this room and improve it. It’s really inspirational if you look at it that way. All the joint effort that allowed you to worship together again.”
He tilted his head as she spoke the words and remained quiet for a long moment afterwards until her smile became a nervous one. “What?”
“I’ve been trying unsuccessfully to find the right angle to address this and I keep getting distracted by all the images I remember. The blood. The death. The fact it even happened. The noises and ensuing chaos. I never thought of that. What you just said. That’s it. Something I can say honestly and without the anger I feel, so it can still be genuine.” Finally. A sermon that didn’t seem fake or artificial. A thread to start to weave something meaningful together. A message of unity, hope, and healing.
He knew what he meant to say but he couldn’t find the right lead-in. His brain was so tired and groggy that it could not sift through the negative thoughts and images he recalled. Suddenly energized, his thoughts began to zing with new connections and he quickly managed to put his thoughts into words. The energy that normally flowed through him when he wrote a sermon started to percolate. He released her hands and began to pace. “Something like… Even the small things like replacing the floors, changing the paint and removing the pews to widen the aisles contribute to a new physical representation of all that we can do when we choose to pull together. Our congregation survived one of the worst atrocities and acts of violence from someone right there among us, on our most holy of days. The sacred day when we join our hands together in worship was stained with bloodshed. But instead of allowing that terrible event to win the day in our hearts, we defeated it by coming together. We defeated it with our material contributions and our collective love to wipe out the darkness with the light of our joint effort. Our—”
“Should I be writing all of this down?”
He stopped when he found her seated in a chair, listening to him with her head cocked. He shook his head. “No. I’m just starting to formulate my thoughts.”
“Am I observing your brilliance as it happens?”
“No. Nothing like that. I don’t usually speak it out loud or around any others. I’m usually alone, typing it. Sometimes I read it out loud for myself to test how it sounds, but not when I’m writing the text.”
“You came up with all of that just now?”
“It’s only the start. I have a lot more thoughts about it to refine and add. I have the perfect verse to quote; I think I can find a way to not sound disingenuous in my message.” He stopped in front of her, surprised to have his thoughts flowing so freely in the very space where it all originated, and glad to know the writer’s block was over. Kayla helped him get it all back. Nudging her knee with his own, he said, “Thank you.”
She smiled up at him. “For…?”
“I couldn’t find the words. You got me started. I didn’t think I could write again.”
“You know, I could come on Sunday, if you like. For moral support. No one needs to know why I’m there. They might think I found God after what happened and needed to come here. Finally.”
“I don’t need moral support.”
She rose to her feet, gripping the chair in front of her. “Because someone might see how you look at me?”
Frowning, he stared at her. “How I… I don’t look at you in any special way.”
“Yes, you do. You look at me differently. Unlike you do anyone else. But whatever. You’re the Lone Ranger, huh? Our Dear Savior, Jim who doesn’t need anyone’s help. Whatever…” She pushed