Zenith in Love (Zenith Series #5) - Leanne Davis Page 0,45
sighed. “That’s totally it.”
There was a knock at the door. “Must be the pizza.”
He jumped to his feet and opened the door, swapping money for the steaming box. He brought it in and a huge smile brightened his face. “Smell that.”
She rose to her feet and reciprocated his smile. He paused at her standing so near him. “What?” she asked, turning her gaze to his.
“I… nothing.” He started to take out some plates and napkins.
“No. Don’t do that. It’s so much easier to be around you when you honestly talk to me. Casually. Don’t think so hard about what you’re saying and just tell me.”
He set the plates down. “I rarely do that.”
“You’ve always done that with me. It’s why we fought so well with each other. Now we don’t fight and it’s weird and confusing so maybe I need a new level of honesty.”
“Okay, I was thinking you’re so amazing. How is it you’re here? With me? Dare I say, for me? I find it pretty astonishing.”
Her eyes rounded. “Oh… oh, wow. Not what I expected from you.”
“Why?” He tried to keep busy serving the aromatic pizza. “Because I’m so terrible with women? True. That is the truth. I don’t know how I managed to cross the line with you, now that we have.”
Her hands were on top of his and his heart skipped a beat as his chest swelled. Everything about Kayla resulted in extreme physical reactions from him that felt so intense but were also very confusing. Oh, damn. “That aloof, disdainful thing you do is kind of hot. It annoys me to say it, but the way you ignore me before you look at me like I’m an exotic dessert you’re dying to devour, but you know you shouldn’t… well, it’s pretty potent. But realize this, feeling like I want you, and then I hate you, is only sexy for a short amount of time. It changed the dynamic between us, but it is not the model that can sustain whatever is going on now.”
“The model that can sustain whatever is going on now?” He raised his eyebrows. “Now who sounds high-brow?” Teasing her, he handed her a slice of pizza.
She gave him a look. “Did you hear my message?”
“Loud and clear. Despite changing the dynamic between us, I can’t be so…”
“So put out that I’m the one that you desire and want the most. Correct?”
Flopping down beside her with the warm pizza slice in his hand, he took a bite before he said, “Do you actually doubt any guy would not desire you? Have you looked in the mirror lately? That has never been the issue. Not even when I was…” Sensing the direction of his words, he clamped up and finished, “Even when I first met you.”
“I thought I caught you looking at me a few times, but later decided I imagined it.”
He chewed while shooting her an annoyed look. “Oh, you caught me, all right. I tried hard to hide it. How you missed the blush that reddened my face when I tried to make my mind as blank as I could is beyond me.”
“So you’re not totally a saint, Pastor Jim?” She gave him a little shoulder bump as she took a giant bite of her pizza. Seeing her mouth form a round O made all kinds of sensations roil in Jim’s stomach and lower.
“If you knew the thoughts I had about you… Well, unfortunately it’s sad to see how far from being a saint I truly am.”
Chewing away, she swallowed and tipped her head toward him. “I’ve dated many men and you are the least offensive and the most proper. I mean, so what if you aren’t a saint? That means you really don’t need to behave like one. Being a decent guy will get you much more notice and appreciation.”
“Do you think my congregation will see me that way? Flipping from one sister to the next on the very same night? The first sister being the role model that they know and love as our music director? It doesn’t exactly look too good.”
“We—”
“I know. It wasn’t like that. We both know that. Even Kathy would agree with us. But they won’t know it. People assume things even when they’re wrong and we won’t be able to stop that narrative. I struggle with that.”
Kayla bit off more and chewed before drinking from the can of pop she opened. Then she set everything down on the coffee table. “Fair enough, I see