Zenith in Love (Zenith Series #5) - Leanne Davis Page 0,25

Hot, naked Kayla.

Fuck.

His brain hurt. He was getting close to the church. He walked there. Stopping, he just stared at it in the dark night. Streetlights created shadows and the random car passing now and then made it appear so peaceful. Normal. Not a trace of violence.

How could this still be the same day?

What would he do now? How would he face Kayla? Whom would she tell? What would he say to her? How could he explain what happened? Shame overwhelmed him and he flopped down on the curb.

What had he done? What if he just ruined his entire life?

Feeling like his life was over, he sat like that for hours. Repeating his favorite Bible verses used to calm and renew him when he felt so horrible. Weak. Exposed. Dirty. He hadn’t felt like that for a long time. Not since before Kathy had entered his life. That’s why he appreciated her so much. Her presence squelched his base, immoral needs and desires. It was like they were all bound up. With Kathy, they were inactivated.

Kayla would be gone soon and out of his space so he could figure out what to do. With the rising sun, he started back home. He was freezing. Tired. Depressed. And hung over. He grabbed a coffee from an all-night fast food joint. Sipping it, he entered his apartment building with a sigh as he opened his front door, relieved to find it unlocked.

Then he froze.

She was still there? Right where he left her. Curled up on the end of his couch with her head resting on the armrest, she was sound asleep. It never occurred to him she’d stay.

What now?

He could run again. But he had to face her. Eventually. At least his brain was unfogged now and free from grief and shock. He was still tired, but not feeling so out of body and strange as he was yesterday.

Kayla didn’t wake when Jim entered. He didn’t know what to do. No woman he slept with before stayed after the sex was over. They always left. The night was done. How unusual.

Kneeling beside her on the floor, he stared at her for a long moment. She was really pretty. There was no denying that. The soft sweep of her dark lashes made her look very young and the freckles dusting her nose and cheeks were endearing. Her breath was regular. Her hair tousled.

He reached out to touch her before quickly withdrawing his hand. He had no rights to her. He didn’t want a relationship. Never mind that he touched her already. Everywhere.

Everywhere.

He gulped hard as his hand landed on her shoulder. He didn’t shake her but caressed her gently and said, “Kayla?”

She stirred and blinked her eyes several times. Confusion momentarily filled her face and then he saw it all register into meaning. She jogged her memory.

Flipping upright, she asked, “Where did you go?”

“Out.”

“Were you gone all night?”

“Yeah.”

“To avoid seeing me?” Her voice was filled with disbelief. Hurt. Embarrassment.

“I don’t know. I was drunk and…”

She shut her eyes as she pushed her hair behind her ears. “Don’t you dare say that was because you were drunk, as if I’m a drunken mistake.”

“No, I wasn’t going to. I—I don’t know what to say.”

Her eyes opened and her gaze landed sharply on him. “Besides, you weren’t that drunk.”

“I was actually. I know how to hide it pretty well.”

She tilted her head, taking in that information. “Do you drink like that often?”

He had sex with her on his couch and then he ran off. She knew he wasn’t what he pretended to be. He wasn’t the Pastor Jim that his congregation and the rest of society knew. Why hide his true identity? She was the only person he felt like he didn’t have to hide it from. He nodded. “Yes.”

She digested that morsel of knowledge. “Kathy didn’t know?”

“No. No clue. Of course not.”

“She thinks you don’t drink at all.”

“Yes.”

“Are you an… an… well… I mean, is it a problem?”

He shrugged, grinding his heel absently into the carpet. “I don’t like to drink all the time. I just sometimes… I guess I binge on it. Then I don’t do it again for a long time.”

She licked her lips. “So it is a problem?”

Kayla never let things go at face value. That annoyed and frustrated him. She never let something go if she wanted to know more about it. The truth was her favorite thing to pry out of anyone, especially Jim. He admired it in her too.