Zenith in Love (Zenith Series #5) - Leanne Davis Page 0,18
contrary and argumentative Jim. It hadn’t occurred to her until now, how strange their dislike for each other was, how deep it ran, but also, how honest he could be with her.
“I do enjoy disliking you and proving you wrong,” he finally admitted without a break in his solemn expression. His gaze was glued to hers. She was being held hostage by it. It seemed to impale her. Something weird and new jolted through her. “I guess I liked it too. I mean, proving you wrong was the part I liked.”
Why was Kayla Randall in his apartment? She disoriented him. After the events of the day and his enervated reaction to them, he felt depleted. Lost. Yeah, vulnerable. And all alone.
He tried to drown his sorrow with alcohol. Literally. She didn’t realize how drunk he was. Jim could hide it. Always managed to. Kathy never caught on. Jim could hold his liquid refreshment far better than most people.
Not something he was particularly proud of, but there it was. Sometimes, it was the only thing to banish the thoughts that tripped through his brain. It also soothed the guilt for his failings. His predilections. His wants.
Suddenly, he seemed to want the woman beside him. Sitting on his couch, right now. Kayla.
He shut his eyes. No. Not Kayla.
He just wanted a woman. It had been so long. Years. He was no longer engaged to a saint and he just wanted to have sex.
After watching Eric get shot today, maybe his ideals seemed hollow. He wanted proof of life. To know he was still alive.
But no. No! He was done with all that. The weakness. The sins. The WRONG doing. He no longer followed the wrong path.
But his desire was so strong. And she was so pretty. So soft and she smelled good. She was there.
She kept talking about things like knowing him. Seeing him. Caring about him. That she came to his house when no one else thought he needed checking up on. She startled him. She surprised him.
She also pleased him.
Her concern was not altogether unwelcome, although an hour ago, he’d have scoffed at anyone saying that. His reality was already altered. The shooting. The broken engagement. And now, Kayla?
There were moments when Kayla looked like Kathy. They were sisters after all. The three Randall sisters shared the same hair color in varying shades, styles and lengths. Kayla was by far the edgiest and most stylish sister. She seemed breezy, looking casual but sexy.
Kayla’s face wasn’t as round and soft and sweet as Kathy’s. Kayla’s had sharp angles, with defined cheek bones and a pointed chin. All the sisters’ eyes were blue, but also different. Jim pondered how all three could be the same color but so distinctively dissimilar.
Sometimes, when Kayla tilted her head, he saw her resemblance to Kathy and Karlee. But that was all he saw; just the hint of her sisters for Kayla was definitely her own woman. More than anyone Jim ever met before. She was right about that.
Only Kayla was the sister he felt real and honest with. Enough to reveal more of himself than just the Pastor Jim part.
He shook his head and the potency of his drink hit him hard, making him dizzy. She might have a good point, something he never articulated or realized until that moment. He did like arguing with her. A lot. It invigorated him because it was real. His only chance to stray from being so flawlessly good all the time. Too much Pastor Jim as Kayla referred to it.
She cleared her throat. “Did you read all these books? Or are they just for your décor?”
Her soft words sounded nervous. New for Kayla. She was usually so confident and cool in her moods and conversation. In fact, Jim never witnessed her so unsure of herself as she seemed now, here with him.
It was like they didn’t know each other. But maybe it was different between them because they were alone. Kathy’s absence made their encounter very different. Along with the drink and curse words, now he was not being Pastor Jim or Kathy’s fiancé anymore.
“I read them.”
She nodded and asked, “And no TV at all?”
“No. I don’t watch it.”
She sighed. “Jim, that’s weird. You never watch any TV? Not even on your iPad or phone?”
“Never.”
Her tone was disappointed. “Oh, Jim. Don’t be so weird. You’re not that old. You must watch TV sometimes. Stream movies to relax and all that? You need to relax sometimes.”