Zenith in Love (Zenith Series #5) - Leanne Davis Page 0,16

me a chance. So why should I indulge you? It was always a two-way street. But I would not come here tonight just to smear that in.”

“Then help me understand why you’re here.”

She pressed her lips and felt strangely uncomfortable now. How to describe her gut feeling at the hospital that he would come home but not be okay? Well, what the hell? The truth was important. She was honest with Jim even when he didn’t like it. So why would she stop now? She no more cared about what he thought of her, than what she thought of him. “Okay, truth? I’ve never seen you like the way you were in the hospital chapel. No prayers? No philosophical words? You seemed so lost and alone and… I don’t know, vulnerable but it seemed like it went way beyond today. And I was worried what you might do tonight.”

He tilted his head and slid off the armrest to flop on the tiny couch. It sagged under his weight, long past its expiration date. “What? Like I’d commit suicide or something?”

“I don’t know. I… I couldn’t articulate what you’d do. I just had this weird feeling and I didn’t like it. And I couldn’t stand it if something did happen to you… so I decided to go with my gut and check on you.” She shrugged. “I was on my way home anyway. I drove down there with my security and they’re outside now. So, I’m very safe. I just didn’t like the thought of—”

“Something happening to me? I’d expect you to celebrate it.”

“Jim!” she snapped. “How dare you say such a thing. I’m not a bad person. I have never given that kind of impression to you. Stop being so horrible to me. Not…” She had to calm herself. She swallowed and purposefully commanded her voice to drop lower. “Not tonight. It was a horrible day for me too. But I have people to support me. And you…”

“Don’t?” He supplied softly when her voice lost all its volume.

“You lost your best friend today. I know you’re very close to Kathy. Friend-wise. Co-working. I know that. It can’t be easy to accept that this all came to a head today.”

“No. It was the worst day I could ever have conjured up.” He pressed his fingertips on his forehead. “But I wasn’t feeling suicidal for shit’s sake. I was just sad. Yeah. Maybe a bit dazed. It’s a shock to witness all that. But…”

“How could I know that? You didn’t sound like yourself. I might not always like you or get you, or get along with you but I do know you, Jim. Well enough to predict some of your reactions and even the words you use. Nothing you said or did today was even remotely in the realm of the you I’ve known.” She waved at him now in dismissal. “But neither is this. Swearing and drinking. So—”

“So perhaps you don’t know me at all?”

She sighed. “I think I do. I mean, not intimately, but well enough… ugh.” She suddenly scoffed and drank a gulp for fortification. “Why do you have to be so difficult? I was checking on you. Out of kindness. Call it Christian charity. How can you not recognize that? Up until three hours ago, you were engaged to my sister. You were almost shot today. We both watched someone get shot twice. How can it be such a mystery I’m here? If I were acting weird, you wouldn’t have even considered worrying about me? If my personal safety crossed your mind, you’d have what? Just left me to suffer, Pastor Jim?” She sneered his name to remind Jim who he really was. This drinking, swearing, scowling mess was not him.

He swallowed more of the fiery liquid and leaned forward to stare at his shoes. Moments ticked by. Finally, he turned his head to catch her gaze. “You were really that worried about me?”

“Yes.” She threw her hands up. “I was. I still am. There is no ulterior motive. Again, I’m not a monster.”

He nodded. Why? Was she a monster? He was still acting weird. And she was still a little bit concerned. “No one ever bothers to check on me. Not even Kathy.”

“No. She’s too caught up in Eric’s condition. She’s at the hospital and probably not leaving for awhile. But you? You matter too. You were part of everything. Rob has my mom and us. We have each other. Even your congregation has each other. But