taking clothes off, and several were making out and grinding on each other.
“Hey!” I clapped my hands next to Harlow’s and Amaya’s heads.
“Donna!” they both yelled, as if we hadn’t seen each other in years.
“Time to go.” I picked up their discarded clothing and Amaya’s Louis Vuitton bag.
“Where are we—oop!” Harlow descended into a fit of giggles as Hendrix picked her up and swung her over his shoulder in one smooth move. I wrapped an arm around Amaya’s waist and pulled her along.
Trying to get them into the car was like trying to wrangle several cats into a bath with one arm tied behind your back. There was screaming and uncontrollable laughter, and I got scratched on my arm. In the end, we managed to shove them into the back seat, and I turned the child lock on so they couldn’t let themselves out.
I slammed the door and leaned heavily back against it, blowing my hair off my forehead. Hendrix leaned his hip next to me and laughed.
“Thanks for helping. You didn’t have to do that,” I said, unable to look at him for some reason.
“You’re welcome.”
There was a long pause. I stared out into the dark woods. Why was I always the one taking care of everyone else? Maybe I wanted to get trashed every once in a while and know someone would get me home safe.
My friends had said to me more than once I was the strongest person they knew. But that’s the thing about being seen that way—you don’t feel as if you have permission to be vulnerable. You don’t feel as if you’re ever allowed to fall apart.
I didn’t know why I was letting this shit get to me in the middle of the night in a field in bumfuck nowhere, but suddenly my throat felt tight, and tears stung the backs of my eyes.
Hendrix sighed, reminding me he was still there.
Before I could gather myself, put my strong mask back on, he reached out and squeezed my shoulder. His thumb rubbed smooth circles at the base of my neck.
I grabbed his wrist, but instead of pushing him off me, I found myself leaning into him. “I’m just so fucking tired.”
“I know.” His deep voice had me feeling in my bones that he really did know. I wasn’t talking about just tonight.
He pulled me into his chest and held me tightly, and even with my face buried in his shirt, I was suddenly able to breathe better. I took a long inhale, closing my eyes as the scent of his expensive aftershave mixed with cinnamon hit the back of my throat.
When he’d embraced me at Mena’s birthday party, I was drunk. I could blame my momentary lapse in judgment on my impaired decision-making skills. But as he held me at the edge of fire and chaos, dancing and drama, I had no such excuse. Being in his arms felt so right.
But it wasn’t. It couldn’t be.
My heart hammered.
I straightened, pushed out of his hold.
Our eyes met in the dim light.
The urge to kiss him was palpable, but I forced myself to turn away, get into the car, drive off.
My hands shook the entire drive home, silent tears streaming down my face.
What the fuck was happening to me?
Chapter Thirteen
Hendrix
Aunt Hannah flicked the switch, and the multicolored twinkle lights came to life.
“Ahh. Now it feels like Christmas!” She beamed, backing away from the ugliest tree I’d ever seen. But it was also the first one I’d gotten to decorate myself, so my smile back was genuine. Growing up, we always had at least five trees spread throughout the house, and each one was professionally decorated. I’d been scolded anytime I reached for a shiny ornament.
“You forgot the main bit.” Robbie waved the red-and-gold star at her. We’d met over dinner that night we bumped into Donna in Devilbend. He was actually a nice guy, and he and my aunt were good together. They were both sarcastic and liked to talk politics and had this weird kind of calm about them. It was nice being around an adult couple who liked each other. I was pretty sure they actually loved each other.
“Shit!” Hannah propped her hands on her hips, then pointed at me. “You. Tall, surly teenager in the armchair. You can reach.”
“So can he!” I pointed at Robbie, who promptly pointed at my aunt. We both frowned at him.
“What?” He shrugged. “Everyone else was pointing. I just wanted to be cool.”