“What . . .” Her gaze bored into mine with increasing intensity. The orgasm high was wearing off, and her mind was kicking back into overdrive, trying to make sense of it all. I held her just a little closer, fully aware of what was about to happen but hoping to prolong the moment anyway.
“Shit.” She squeezed her eyes shut, as if trying to wash a nightmare from her mind’s eye. Then she licked those delicious lips and leaned away, no longer looking at me.
She pushed against my chest and wriggled her legs. Resisting the urge to hold on tighter was a Herculean effort, but I managed it.
“Put me down,” she growled, but I was already bending down, already releasing my hold, already missing her warmth . . .
I’d known it was coming, but it still made me want to throw something when she looked at me with a sneer.
“Ah, there it is.” I stuffed my hands into my pockets and smirked. No choice now but to go back to our bickering default. I wasn’t about to show her how badly I wanted to pull her back into my arms when she was looking at me like that. “The instant regret. Aren’t you glad I only fucked you with my fingers now?”
“There isn’t a single thing about this night I’m glad about.” Ouch . . .
As the rain petered out to a pathetic drizzle, she turned and started to walk away.
I watched her hips sway, her spine straight and shoulders back. She’d just spent time in the seediest establishment for miles, had let me fingerfuck her in the dirty alley next to a dumpster, had a face covered in smeared makeup, yet she was still walking away with confidence. As if she owned this place.
I took one step back and wavered. My car was a few spots away; she was nearly safely to hers. I should just leave, end this torture.
But I couldn’t tear my gaze off her. And not because I was still hard and her ass looked amazing in that skirt. Despite how much of a bitch she was being to me, I couldn’t help worrying about Donna Mead.
I was seeing in her some of the same shit I’d seen in myself a year ago. It had taken something truly catastrophic to make me realize it, but with hindsight, I could see there had been signs. I’d been doing all kinds of reckless shit, just as Donna was now. I didn’t want her to end up where I was.
If someone had asked me that morning who I thought Donna was, I would’ve told them she was a spoiled rich brat with delusions of grandeur. She had everything handed to her and always got what she wanted. She was perfect in every way she could control—her looks, her grades, her reputation—and would never let anything jeopardize that.
Never in a million years would I have expected her to have a bad-girl streak. I had no idea what Donna was running from, but after what went down between us, I was no longer confused about why she’d come to a place like this. She was escaping. She was using the thrill of danger as a distraction and the high of meaningless hookups to numb whatever pain was deep in her chest.
The way she’d come at me in the alley—that first kiss had been almost violent in its intensity. It was the first time I’d felt truly alive in a long time. Too bad it was delivered by someone spiraling toward death.
I may have used slightly different means when I was spiraling a year ago, but she was chasing the same thing I’d been chasing—oblivion. It was a fucking miracle she didn’t have an addiction yet. Maybe she did. What did I know?
I sighed and looked up to the stormy sky. The rain had stopped completely, and I wiped the moisture from my face before glancing in her direction again, wanting to make sure she made it to her car before I left.
To my surprise, she was walking back toward me with a determined look on her face, those killer boots crunching in the gravel.
“I thought you were leaving.” I crossed my arms. I wasn’t sure I could handle more of this in one night.
“I never leave loose ends. No matter how badly I want to take a shower.”
“Loose ends?” I scoffed, ignoring her dig. “What’re you gonna shoot me in the head and stuff my body in the trunk