You Are My Reason - Willow Winters Page 0,44
as a schoolgirl.
“Yeah, what the fuck did he mean by more?” Sue asks, her skepticism obvious. Even Kat looks up from her phone to listen. She’s barely said a word since sitting down other than to apologize for having to work and that she swears she’s listening. I suppose now she really is.
“I don’t know. I just ...” I stop and focus on Sue, my former cheerleader and the one I know I need to convince. “I was worried too,” I say, making sure I’m careful with my words, “and I told him that I didn’t know if I could handle ‘just sex’ because I would probably want more, and he said he could give me that.” I think back to that night just two weeks ago, or has it been more now? I’m fairly certain that’s what I said and how he answered. “It makes me feel secure, that I can be open about how I’m feeling and that he’s receptive to it.”
Maddie lets out a small sigh of satisfaction, like a young girl in puppy love. She’s the only one obviously happy about what I’ve said. Sue taps her nails rhythmically on the table and Kat hasn’t moved, still watching me like a hawk. Like I’m prey and she’s just circling in the skies above, waiting to strike.
“Can I just ask a question?” Kat says, setting down her phone and turning her full attention to me. “Why him? Are you sure you want more … and with him?”
“Okay … I didn’t expect that as the follow-up question.” It takes a moment for me to put my thoughts into words. “Mason is nothing like the man I should be with. But that man is gone and I’m not interested in replacing him.”
I take another sip of coffee, feeling defensive and like I’m not sure that I really want to even have this conversation.
“Are you wanting to settle down with him?” Kat asks and waits for me to look at her. “Like are you dating, dating?”
“I’m not settling down or replacing—” Jace’s name gets caught in my throat.
“Oh no, oh no.” Kat’s quick to correct herself, reaching out for me even though my hands are now clasped in my lap. “I didn’t mean … I don’t know what I mean.”
“Maybe he’s a rebound,” Sue chimes in with a shrug and then looks up at the menu on the other side of the room. The text is fairly large, but she’s not reading it. All four of us have that menu memorized. “It doesn’t have to be serious,” she says and the other two women all nod in agreement, but I’m certain it’s to placate me.
“Yeah,” I say noncommittally, holding up my coffee and looking back at Kat for her response. “What if he’s just a rebound?”
Kat picks up her phone again but she doesn’t look at it. She bites her lip and asks, “Can we meet him?”
“For fuck’s sake, Kat,” Sue says from across the table, practically glaring at her. “You don’t introduce a rebound to your friends.”
“Is that a rule?” Kat bites back. “He likes drinks, we like drinks, let’s all just have drinks.”
“It’s weird!” Sue’s brow is comically raised as she stares back at Kat like she can’t be serious. “Just let her do what she wants to do,” she says and Sue’s last sentence is hushed.
“I’d like to meet him,” Maddie says with a sweet, innocent tone. Staring at each one of my friends in turn, I know they’re all looking out for me. All nervous like I was weeks ago.
“I’ve got this,” I say to all three of them at once. “It’s just sex, but there’s a level of respect and understanding.” I nod my head. “That’s what the more is.”
A soft sigh leaves me and I feel like I’ve fixed my nonexistent problem. That’s exactly what this is. “It’s just a mutually beneficial arrangement with respect, and sex of course.”
Both Kat and Sue are silent, each nodding and probably not convinced with my words. Each for their own reason, and I love them for their concern.
“I have a meeting with my CPA,” I say as I glance down at my phone. I was going to walk there but there’s no way in hell I’m going to make it on time now. “I have to go,” I huff out as I reach down to grab my leather tote off the floor.
“Hey,” Kat says. “You’re happy?” she asks with all seriousness.
I stand up, slinging the purse over