Yes Chef, No Chef - By Susan Willis Page 0,88
that he still fancied her, and after all, he was the one who had started it. So, if he was having a serious relationship with the blonde he certainly wouldn't have behaved like he did. Tim was many things, she reasoned, but he was always loyal and steadfast to the people he cared about. She supposed she could sit here all night trying to second guess his state of mind; but did he really want to be with her again? Was delivering the post just an excuse to open contact between them and had he really been missing her but was too proud to admit it?
The telephone rang again and she screened the call getting ready to snatch the receiver up if it was him. But it was Lisa, and feeling crap once more she let her leave a message. She'd call them both tomorrow and do something nice for them to salve her conscience, but for now she just wanted to be on her own to think things through.
Swiping a tissue out of the box she blew her nose and remembered the intimate feel of his hands on her breasts and the way he'd breathed his desire into her ear making her feel faint with longing for him. ‘Oh Christ, he had looked so sexy!’ she wailed aloud. It had been fantastic to be with him again and she hadn’t realised just how much she’d missed him until she’d actually felt his hands on her again. So much for her determined new resolve she moaned miserably, it had been shattered the minute she’d looked into his eyes.
And, she sobbed, on what planet had she been living for the last two months that she'd been able to move forward with her life when he wasn't in it? She decided that if a shrink was listening to her they’d tell her she'd been in denial and had let the horrible latter weeks of their relationship overshadow the previous months of happiness. Maybe she’d been blotting out her true feelings and was now grieving like she should have done when it first happened? The flood gates opened with big, hot tears running down her cheeks. She simply couldn’t bear the thought that she’d lost him for ever - he’d been her everything and up until the last few weeks or so it had been the happiest time of her life.
She thought back to when they’d first met and how she’d told her mum, “I love every minute I’m with him and then when he leaves I start tingling with excitement thinking of the next time I’ll see him.”
Her mum had mused. “Well, Katie, believe it or not, I used to feel exactly the same with your father.”
Katie had laughed knowing she’d finally crossed the imaginary line between being single and part of a couple.
She’d felt so important having someone in their bed waiting to put his arms around her and had tried to explain to Lisa and Sarah how the passion between them hadn’t been gradual - she’d been wildly in love with him from the first week. She remembered the things they'd done for each other in bed that had made her head spin and how everyone, especially her mum, had commented upon the boost to her confidence. She’d known in herself it had been staggering.
The CD finished and she removed it remembering how they’d first smooched to the song at a club and the next day he’d bought the CD for her. That day had also been the first time he’d said the three magic words, I love you. When they’d first moved in together she’d loved his genuine open personality, his consideration for everyone, his loyal decent values and how she’d always felt she could trust him completely. Was it possible that their last few awful weeks together had erased his good qualities from her mind? Deciding she’d definitely been guilty of this she knew for certain that deep down in her heart she was still in love with him. Oh God, she cried, she wanted him back so much it hurt and ached in places she didn’t know existed, and how on earth was she going to find the strength to carry on without him?
Sitting upright on the settee she didn’t bother to wipe the tears away she let them drip off the end of her nose and decided that any other man she might meet would always come second best to him. Wrapping both her arms around