Wrangling the Cowboy (Circle B Ranch #3) - Kennedy Fox Page 0,63
being an asshole because of your insecurities, and that’s not fair to him.”
“If I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s that communication is key. Apologize and put all your feelings on the table, then see what he says. You’re gonna have to talk to him, and it won’t be easy. Hell, it might even be a little humiliating, but you’re gonna have to humble yourself a bit and do it anyway,” Rowan says.
“Do you think it’s too late?” I look at her.
She shrugs. “I dunno, but you don’t want to look back five years from now with regret like that.”
“You’re right. It’s just all so…”
“Awkward?” Elle says. “I understand that.”
Kenzie looks at her. “Because of Mr. Hot Vet, huh.”
“Shut it.” Elle points her finger at her.
“I have a lot of thinking to do,” I admit. “A lot.”
Kenzie hands me the M&M’s, and the four of us sit on my queen-size bed and get lost in trashy reality TV. Rowan gets up to go to the bathroom every so often, then comes back and makes us shots. I lean against the headboard, not paying attention to anything on the screen. All I can think about is Gavin and how I’ll even begin that conversation. I feel lost and confused, and it’s all my own doing.
After the girls leave, I lie down, unable to go to sleep. I toss and turn all night, thinking about Gavin and wishing I had the courage to text him, but I don’t. The things I need to say should be said in person, but after the way I treated him, I wouldn’t be surprised if he ignores me. At least that’s what I deserve.
It’s been almost a week since I hung out with the gang, and many of the things Rowan said have played on repeat in my mind. I know communication is key, but I’m also stubborn as hell. Half of me wonders what good it would do to talk to him about it, especially if he’s planning to go on the road anyway. Then I remember how he said he doesn’t regret retiring the night of the rodeo. My stomach is in knots thinking about it.
All week, I’ve looked for him at the B&B, but I haven’t seen him once. I feel as if I ruined my chances by not giving him a fair one, and the thought crushes me.
“Did you hear me?” Dad asks from the doorway of the kitchen.
I was lost in my head again, something I’ve been doing a lot of this week. “No, sorry. What did you say?”
“We need more tea out here, please,” he says with a smile.
I nod and suck in a deep breath. Instead of turning and walking away, Dad comes over to me. The lunch rush is nearly over, and I was prepping for dinner while my employees washed dishes.
Dad stands beside me as I grab the teabags. “What’s going on with you this week?”
I shrug, not really wanting to talk about this with him, though he is a really good listener.
Dad grabs the sugar. “Is it about a guy or something?”
I could lie, but at this point, I don’t even have the strength for it. “Yeah, actually it is.”
“Not that I’m an expert or anything, because I’m not, but I can tell you that when I met your mom, I pushed her away as much as I could because I wasn’t ready for a relationship. Sometimes though, you find the person you’re supposed to be with when you least expect it. Your mom was only supposed to be here for a little while, and I didn’t want to get involved with someone who didn’t have roots here. My heart did what it wanted, and I fell so madly in love with her that I couldn’t deny her anymore. The point is, you gotta be willing to give people a chance. I know Timothy broke your heart. I know it destroyed you, and I’ve also noticed how you’ve rejected every single man who’s been interested since then. But honey, in the long run, you’re only hurting yourself.”
My eyes soften when I look at him, and I’m so emotional I almost burst into tears. He notices and opens his arms, and I fall into them. I’ll never be too old for my daddy’s hugs. “Thank you,” I tell him.
“I love you so much, sweetie. And if your grandma doesn’t get more great-grandkids, she might freak the hell out. I’d like some grandkids of my own one day