The World According to Vince - Jane Harvey-Berrick Page 0,86
think that was?”
“Uh, well, the shelter’s director, Benson something, he said that word had got out about what I’d done and that they’d been getting calls all morning from people wanting to adopt dogs. He said all the shelters in the city were emptying faster than a fart in a vegan restaurant! It was fantastic!”
“Let me clarify,” I said, slowly and clearly, while trying not to laugh. “Mr. Luft, the director of Barkalaureate Animal Shelter said that you were responsible for all of the dogs being legally rehomed? Not just in his shelter, but across the whole of New York City?”
“Yes,” Vince said, pure joy shining in his eyes. “He said it was because of me.”
“So, you were happy with that state of affairs?”
“Well, bloomin’ happy with that part, yeah. I was happy that all the dogs had got homes, but Benson said they were skint—none of the shelters had any money: they’d got no money to make the upgrades for the shelter, and sweet FA for marketing or fundraising. Which means they can’t afford to publicize when there are dogs needing a new home. That’s when I came up with the idea of the Canine Crusader dog fashion show fundraiser. We ended up raising over half a million dollars, and it all went to shelters across the city. Foo— freakin’ fab!”
“Did you make any money personally from this fundraiser, Mr. Azzo?”
“No, and everyone involved gave their time for free. Uh, but I sell S&M dog-inspired leisure wear on my Instagram. Does that count?”
“No,” I said hastily. “Defense rests, your Honor.”
Barclay rose with a sour look on his face.
“What a fascinating fairytale, Mr. Azzo, almost believable in places.”
“It definitely had a happy ever after ending,” Vince agreed, and several people chuckled quietly.
“It seems an extraordinary coincidence that you decided to fundraise for the shelter only after being arrested for burglary and larceny, only after needing some positive publicity to rehabilitate your image.”
“Not really,” Vince said calmly. “I’d only been in New York City for a few weeks—I didn’t know that the shelters had money problems. I’ve done fundraising for animal shelters in other places I’ve lived. What I don’t get is why no one else did anything about it in New York before.”
Barclay dismissed the answer with a sneer. “How noble. And what did you intend to do with six puppies and 11 adult dogs that you’d released from their cages?”
Vince looked puzzled. “Take ‘em home.”
“All of them?”
“Well, yeah! No man or dog left behind, right?”
“And what were you planning to do with them once you got them home?” he asked.
“Feed ‘em, cuddle ‘em, and then find them their forever homes.”
“And why did you think you were equipped to do that when the shelter had been unable to?” he pressed. “Surely you intended to sell them?”
Vince shrugged. “Nope. All me friends are dog lovers—I’m good at publicity and the shelter doesn’t have any budget for marketing. I’d have found them homes.”
“You certainly are good at publicity,” Barclay said snidely. “Self-serving publicity, one might say.”
“Objection!” I snapped, jumping up.
“Sustained,” intoned the judge.
“And I suppose you would have accepted money for this re-homing service?” Barclay pressed on.
“No!” Vince snorted. “I wasn’t going to sell them! I just wanted them to find families to love them.”
“How noble.”
“You said that before—I’m deducting points for repetition, mate—but loving a dog isn’t noble, and it isn’t a one-way street because they return that love tenfold and…”
“Thank you, Mr. Azzo.”
“You’re welcome, but dogs love unconditionally. And I can talk to them.”
“Excuse me?” said Barclay, raising his eyebrows.
“Yeah, I can talk to animals. Like Dr. Doolittle.”
“You … have conversations with animals?”
Barclay looked like he couldn’t believe his luck, and I wasn’t sure how this would play out. But I’d told Vince to be himself…
“Yeah. I’m an animal whisperer.”
“Do the dogs tell you their feelings?” Barclay jeered.
“Of course,” Vince scoffed. “It’s not hard to know what they’re feeling when you listen. But if you’re asking me if they help with the crossword, I’m more of a bingo man.”
The audience exploded with laughter, and some of the jurors were chuckling.
Even Barclay had to turn away from the jury to hide a smile.
“Did you know that vigilantes are copying your actions across the whole state, causing damage and mayhem, egged on by you and your inappropriate social media comments?” he pretended to huff as if he was personally affronted.
“They’re my people,” said Vince at the same time I leaped to my feet yelling, “Objection!” and trying to drown out Vince’s comment.