The World According to Vince - Jane Harvey-Berrick Page 0,69
choking on bubbles.
“Thank you for all turning up for the free meal and champagne, you cheapskates,” Vince grinned at his audience. “Just kidding! Now, let’s squash the elephant in the room or should I say lion? Rick’s stag night was eventful: strip joints, booze, Broadway shows, lions … but for the record, we didn’t steal the lion. Honest!”
Vince signaled to the waiter to open the doors, and a fully grown male lion padded into the room, pausing to yawn and shake its mane.
Rick and Cady sat with their mouths hanging open, much like mine, as Vince walked over and gave the creature a big hug, stroking his fur and speaking to him in a low voice. Then he turned back to the top table.
“Rick, mate! I couldn’t let this momentous occasion pass without inviting all your stag night buddies. Meet, Jabari, everybody!”
I wasn’t the only one who nearly peed their pants when the lion let out a roar that shook the panes of glass in the windows. The wedding guests nearest were falling out of their chairs to get away from the enormous wild animal, but Vince just kneeled down and put his face against the thick fur, and I watched with amazement as the massive lion nuzzled him, buffeting Vince with his heavy head.
Thankfully, the lion’s trainer appeared and led the beast away, but not before Vince had hand-fed him three cooked chicken legs.
Vince walked back to his seat with a huge smile on his face.
“As my gift to the beautiful couple, who, all jokes aside I love like family, the Canine Crusader has arranged for the award-winning Lion King musical team to perform a special song, We are One, in honour of Cady and Rick’s wedding.”
Music poured out as singers and dancers from the famous Broadway show burst into the room, dazzling us with their voices, and everyone oohed and ah’ed at the surprise.
Quietly, Vince sang along, and it felt like he was singing to me when he turned and smiled.
“We are one, you and I
We are like the earth and sky,
One family under the sun…”
Cady was singing along, too, gazing into Rick’s eyes, and I knew that she’d loved every minute of Vince’s crazy best man’s speech.
When the singers and dancers took a bow and left the room to heartfelt applause, Vince rose to his feet once more.
“I’m glad you enjoyed that, ladies and gents. Now, let’s all raise one more glass and toast to the beautiful couple, to Mr. and Mrs. Roberts!”
He took a bow as everyone cheered and joined in the toast. Then he whispered to Rick, “I’ve gotta take a piss, mate,” and hurried off.
Rick was speechless, but Cady just shrugged and smiled … right up until the moment when Vince tripped over the cable for the microphone, and fell face first into the chocolate fountain.
There was a shocked silence as he emerged, dripping. My hands flew to my mouth and I held my breath. But Vince just wiped his face on a napkin, picked up the mike and said, “I guess I just joined the chocosexaholic club!”
Everyone burst out laughing, clapping and cheering at a grinning Vince. He’d totally pulled it out of the bag when it mattered. I marveled again at his ability to bring triumph from disaster.
He took another bow and left the room, presumably to wash off the chocolate that dripped from his face.
I knew that I could never be like him: impulsive, disorganized, with a seat-of-my-pants attitude to life, but I envied him too, I really did. And somehow, some way, this complex clown, this warm-hearted jerk, this sensitive soul had staggered, tumbled, tripped and fallen into my life, and I was happier for it. The world was a better place because he was in it: the world according to Vince.
As I pondered this imponderable revelation, he slid back into his seat, his face slightly pink, and his shirt damp.
“I would have let you lick it off me,” he whispered, “but then I’d have wanted to get laid on the buffet, and Cady would have punched me in the nuts.”
I laughed and shook my head. Just a little smudge marred his collar, but what’s a smudge of chocolate between friends?
The speeches continued, and as Cady’s father spoke movingly about his daughter, I held hands with Vince, watching his face as he smiled, laughed, and nodded in appreciation for Sandy’s words.
He was still crazy, he could still be annoying, he could still stumble into more disasters than anyone else in