The World According to Vince - Jane Harvey-Berrick Page 0,45

and candlestick again. “Yes, he’s still asleep,” he whispered. “Hurry up!”

I looked for something I could use to force the padlock. “Oi, Rick! Throw that candlestick over the wall.”

“But … but it’s my weapon,” he said feebly.

“Shut up and chuck it over, you loser!”

Reluctantly, he threw me the candlestick, and I had to use all my strength to lever open the heavy, iron padlock. Just when I thought I’d have to give up, it finally snapped, and the gates swung apart.

I walked back out, then Rick and I both stared at Jabari.

“You’d better wake him up,” I said.

Rick shook his head. “He’s your lion. You wake him up.”

We both looked at Jabari. He seemed very peaceful but ya know, no one likes being woken up from a deep sleep. I swallowed and glanced at Rick.

“Can I borrow your chair?”

He handed me the wooden chair then watched as I gently prodded Jabari with a chair leg. He grunted but didn’t wake up.

“Harder,” said Rick.

“Mate, I’ve been waiting my whole life to hear you say those words,” I quipped.

Never let it be said that the Vin-meister missed a chance for a joke.

“Shut up and wake him up!” Rick whisper-shouted. “I can hear police sirens!”

I prodded Jabari a bit harder and he opened one eye, then sat up yawning. He had a lot of teeth.

“Come on, buddy,” I said, pointing toward the zoo with the chair. “Time to go home before someone shoots you in the arse.”

Sighing, he rose to his enormous feet and padded quietly towards me.

“Um, I think he wants you to go with him,” said Rick. “He probably wants a midnight snack.”

Ignoring Rick, I led Jabari back into the zoo just as the police arrived along with a harried looking zoo keeper.

“It’s okay!” I yelled. “I’ve taken Jabari home! You don’t have to shoot him.”

“Who’s that clown with the lion?” asked one of the police officers from behind a gun.

“That’s the Canine Crusader,” said Rick, grinning at me.

“Dude, seriously! You rescued a lion?” the police officer gaped. “I thought you just did dogs?”

“Any animal in trouble can come to me,” I replied. “I am the chosen one.”

“What a guy!” said the police officer, shaking his head.

“Oh, bloody hell,” Rick sighed.

I helped the zoo keeper put Jabari back in his compound. The poor old fella looked knackered after his unplanned evening out. “I’ll come and visit you, buddy,” I said, stroking his ears.

He blinked at me, yawned again, then ambled off into the darkness as the zoo keeper wiped his forehead and locked the door to Jabari’s compound.

By the time I was back at the main entrance, a TV news crew had arrived.

“Is it true that you rescued a lion?” the reporter asked in amazement.

“Yes, it’s true,” I grinned at her. “Animals understand me. It’s like I can talk to them. I think it’s because I was hit by lightning when I was a kid. Ever since then, I’ve been able to know what animals think.”

“Wow, that’s amazing!”

“Yes, it’s a gift,” I agreed.

“Sorry to interrupt, folks,” said the police officer. “But I’m going to have to arrest Mr. Azzo for breaking into the zoo.”

“But … but I was putting the lion back!” I protested.

“It’s still burglary,” said the police officer as he snapped on a pair of handcuffs. “You have the right to remain silent…”

“Rick!” I yelled. “Call me lawyer! Get Gracie!”

Grace

Tears were pouring down my face as Patrick Swayze ran his invisible hands over Demi Moore.

“Why is life never that good?” I sobbed.

“Yeah,” Cady sighed. “Except for the fact he’s dead.”

“Men suck,” I nodded in agreement.

Cady’s phone rang and she got that dopey look on her face which told me Rick was calling her. I hugged my cushion tighter and sighed. I couldn’t imagine having that look on my face when some guy phoned me. Especially not Vince. When he called, if I happened to see my reflection, I’d probably look like I was sucking on a lemon.

And then I remembered that kiss from the fashion show and sighed again. My own for real An Officer and a Gentleman moment, except Vince had been wearing Lycra and floppy dog ears rather than crisp Navy Whites. Okay, not quite as romantic, but still…

Fascinating factoid: John Travolta turned down the role of Zack Mayo; he’d also turned down ‘American Gigolo’, which was a huge hit for none other than Richard Gere. Way to make lousy movie choices, John.

Cady sat up straighter, spilling her glass of wine as she slammed it onto Vince’s