“Nice. I give you a compliment and you insult me.”
“Sorry, you caught me off guard.” He took a seat. “What’s up? You’re all squinty and scowly. You look constipated.”
“I still can’t figure out why I’m friends with you,” I said. “You’re an insulting prick.”
“Because I’m the only guy who will be friends with you. Everyone else thinks you’re a dick or you’re going to fuck their girlfriends.”
“You don’t think I’ll fuck your girlfriend?” I asked just to piss him off.
“You might, but she wouldn’t fuck you. My girl is faithful.”
“That’s a bold statement.”
“When you figure out how to love someone, you’ll understand.”
“Loyalty is fleeting,” I told him. “Trust me, I learned the hard way. Not even a hundred-thousand-dollar ring on her finger and marriage vows can keep a woman from stepping out.”
“The right woman wouldn’t need either of those things to stay faithful.”
“Talk to me when you have a few million dollars in the bank,” I said. “Let me know how faithful she is then.”
He shrugged. “My girl is faithful. I love her and she loves me. There is no question that either of us would be unfaithful. It just won’t happen. When you love someone, you don’t look at others. You don’t have a wandering eye. I read something a while ago. It was along the lines of people who love you will never cheat on you with someone they never plan to keep. If your wife cheated on you, it was because she never loved you.”
“No shit, Sherlock. I figured that out without your internet wisdom.”
He laughed, still unbothered by my insult. “You know what I mean. I don’t have to worry about cheating because she loves me.”
“Fine. Congrats.”
“You’re extra cranky today. No nookie?”
“I’m extra cranky because the tax firm is falling apart and the assholes that are supposed to be fixing the pipes are charging me over fifty grand.”
“That’s steep.”
“I’m so glad you are here to guide me, Captain Obvious.”
He chuckled. “You’re getting pretty good at those comebacks. I’m proud of you.”
“And that’s exactly what I was going for.”
“Relax, fifty grand isn’t even a drop in the bucket for you. Quit crying. You’re stupid rich.”
“The rich don’t stay rich by overpaying for services,” I told him.
He laughed. “Tight ass.”
“I’ve heard that before and I’m not going to be insulted. It means I budget every penny, and when someone is trying to rob me of my hard-earned money, it really pisses me off.”
“Think they’ll be done today?” he asked.
“If they’re not, they’re fired. I’ll hire someone else to get the job done.”
“Damn, you are cranky,” he said. “What happened with Saige? And don’t say ‘nothing’ because only a woman could get under your skin this bad.”
“I fired one of her people yesterday and now she’s really pissed at me,” I blurted out.
“Man, you have to stop firing her people,” he said. “Didn’t we discuss this?”
“The guy had it coming,” I replied. “Besides, they run over her and she thinks they are all friends.”
“Maybe she likes them.”
“Too bad. She’s supposed to be their boss.”
He nodded. “I forgot you don’t associate with the help.”
I smirked. “You’re the exception.”
“Lucky me.”
“She told me not to go into the office today,” I said. Now that I was talking about it, I was on a roll.
“That was ballsy.”
“We’ve already established she has zero respect for my authority. She said a lot of other shit too.”
“I told you to take her to dinner,” he said. “You’ve got to smooth things over with her lady side if you want to have a good working relationship.”
“Her lady side?” I questioned.
“Yes, the one you banged in here.” He looked around. “You didn’t bang in this chair, did you? I don’t want to be sitting in your shit.”
I rolled my eyes. “No, not there.” My eyes drifted to the spot where she’d been on my desk with me buried inside her.
He grinned and looked at my desk. “Ah, there.”
“Stop.”
“Talk to her before this gets really bad,” he warned.
“I think it’s too late for that,” I said. “She really doesn’t like me. When she said it wasn’t happening again, she wasn’t joking. She was serious. It is never happening again. Taking her to dinner would be a waste of time and I doubt she wants to spend any more time with me than she has to.”
“Understandable,” he said with a laugh.
“She just can’t see how those people treat her,” I said and jumped to my feet. “She thinks they are her friends, but they aren’t. They are nice to her,