“Not like that. Dude, if you were in my bar doing that shit to me, I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t be sitting here right now. I mean, I might be sitting here as your friend, but I would sure as hell never want to work for you.”
“It isn’t asking too much to have them focus on their jobs. They are paid well. Very well quite frankly. They should be doing the work in front of them and not worrying about who ate pho for lunch.”
He laughed. “I’ll give you that, but I keep my cell phone on me. You never know when there might be an emergency.”
“Then you answer those calls, but texting and stalking your ex’s new girlfriend on Instagram isn’t exactly conducive to getting real work done. Especially now. It’s the middle of tax season. Shouldn’t they be busy?”
“I’m sure they are busy. I don’t know about them, but if I had to stare at numbers all day and count other people’s money, I’d need a break. I would lose my shit if I had to spend eight hours a day staring at a computer screen.”
I figured since he already thought I was a monster, I may as well confess all my sins. “That was something else I adjusted,” I said.
“I’m afraid to ask.”
“Their breakroom was a buffet. Food, snacks, and drinks along with every coffee flavor you can think of.”
He slowly shook his head. “Don’t tell me you took it.”
“I had a real coffeemaker installed. There were some complaints about the bottled water being removed. I had a water cooler installed and requested they bring their own water bottles.”
“I think you better start brushing up on your tax law,” he said.
“Why?”
“Because you aren’t going to have a staff left. You bought a business that you are going to be left running all by yourself.”
I scoffed. “I don’t think so. There are a stack of applications on my desk as we speak. There are plenty of people who will do the job. That’s what those people need to see. They’re bitching and moaning to Saige right now, but they’ll figure it out soon enough. They can accept the changes and be a part of the new company or find somewhere else to work.”
I could tell by his expression he didn’t like my theory. “Do you know, most people quit a boss, not the job?”
I shrugged. “And?”
“People don’t like to work for assholes, and I say this with all the love in the world, but you’re a dick. I really am glad you don’t pull this shit at the bar because I know I wouldn’t stick around. It isn’t like you are paying anyone a million bucks to work for you and take your dictatorship.”
“Is anyone worth a million bucks?” I quipped.
“You should treat them like they are,” he countered. “A little employee appreciation can go a long way.”
“They are paid, and it isn’t like I turned off the heat and make them sit at their desks with no breaks. I’m asking them to do their job. I don’t know if you know this, but I’m very successful. This isn’t my first rodeo. This is kind of my thing. I buy businesses that are stagnant, and I infuse life into them. I make them successful. I increase profits.”
“For you,” he shot back. “You get richer while they work harder. I’m not sure anyone is going to see that as a fair trade.”
“They aren’t working harder because I’m mean. It’s the damn job.”
“I’m curious about something,” he said.
“I can only imagine,” I muttered.
“What is your turnover?”
I shrugged. “It’s high, but that’s to be expected. People don’t like change. They often want to find a new job after new management comes in. That’s not a shocker.”
“But imagine how much money you would save if you retained the employees you bought with the business.”
I smiled. “I don’t think I can legally buy people.”
“Very funny. You know what I mean.”
I thought about it for a few seconds. “Technically, yes, it would save money initially. But when I buy a business, I’m looking at my long-term investment. I have to have a crystal ball. I have to think about taking a hit now and training the right people for the job that I want done. If I try and retain those employees that have been trained the wrong way and allowed to develop bad habits, it’s only going to cost me more in the end. Not