“Jace deserves better,” I said. “I understand why you wanted to keep him away from me. You gave him stability. That’s not something I would have done. I’m arrogant and selfish. I would have focused on my business and not him. No kid deserves that.”
“I agree, but I don’t think you would have done that. I’ll admit I used to think that, but the last few weeks have shown me I was wrong. I should have at least told you. I should have at least let you make the choice.”
“I would never hurt Jace,” I said. “Never. At least not intentionally.”
“Neither would I,” she said. “But I think I did.”
“What do you mean?”
“I hurt him by lying to him. I hate that I put Jace through hardship when it wasn’t necessary. I lied to him about his father. It hurt him and I have to live with that.”
“You were trying to protect him,” I said. “I guess I should thank you for doing such a good job raising him on your own.”
She laughed. “He’s not full grown yet. You’re coming in at the part of his life when things are about to get real. That’s assuming you are coming into his life.”
“I don’t want to mess the kid up,” I said. “I really can’t see myself being a solid dad.”
“What are you doing right now?” she asked.
I raised an eyebrow. “Talking to you.”
“Do you have any more meetings today?”
“No, why?”
“Can you leave for the day?” she asked.
I shrugged. “I suppose I can. Why?”
“I want to take you somewhere.”
I smirked. “Is that a euphuism for sex?”
She rolled her eyes. “No. I really want to show you something. We’ll take my car.”
I made a big show of cringing. “Are you sure? My Porsche is here.”
“Stop. You’re not fooling me with your arrogance. You can be as cocky as you want but it’s not fooling me.”
“Let me tell my receptionist that I’m leaving for the day. Then we can go.”
I left the office and went to talk to Carly. I could have called her, but I needed a minute. It was my dad and then Saige. It was like getting smacked by a hurricane only to have a tornado come and pick up the pieces. I walked into the men’s room and took a deep breath. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I wasn’t a spitting image of my father, but there were similarities. I thought Jace looked more like me than I looked like my dad, but I could be biased.
She looked at me like she saw something. I didn’t see it. I wanted to believe I was different, but it seemed like a big risk to take when Jace was the one who would pay if I wasn’t well and truly changed. I would let her show me her thing and then I would tell her we needed to rethink the whole idea of me being his father. I wasn’t good at commitment. Hell, that was an understatement. I didn’t do commitment because I absolutely sucked at it. Being a parent was about as committed as a person could get.
Chapter 72
Saige
“Where are we going?” he asked from the passenger seat.
“It’s a surprise.”
“Um, Saige, it’s not really a surprise if I know where we are going,” he said.
“Then why did you ask?”
“Because I want to know why you’re going to my house,” he said.
I pulled into his driveway and parked.
“Do you have the key?” he asked me.
“No, that’s why I had to bring you along.”
He walked to the door and unlocked it. I stepped inside and waited for him to follow me in. “Okay,” he said. “Now what?”
“Look around you,” I told him.
“Am I supposed to be seeing something?”
“Yes, everything. Look around you. You did all of this in spite of your father’s lack of approval. You rose up and kicked ass without his help. You did that, but imagine what would have been different if you had his support.”
“It would have been a little easier, but I’m not sure the outcome would have been any different.”
“You forced yourself to kick ass to get to the top, but you did it alone. I think with support you would have been able to enjoy the ride to the top.”
He shrugged. “Maybe, but I don’t regret it.”
“I think I made a mistake,” I said. “I know I did. I should have let you make the decision to stay or go. I should have told Jace you were alive but not in