has had a taste of a father figure in his life, you aren’t going to want to let go of that.”
I shrugged. “Like I said, I know this isn’t permanent. It’s a right-now fix. Jace will get more confident, and when Nash does move on, so will I.”
“Okay, but I worry about you.”
I patted her on the shoulder. “Thank you. I appreciate your concern, but I’m okay. I’m going into this with eyes wide open this time. I’m not letting him catch me off guard.”
“Do you think you’ll tell him?” she asked.
“What?”
“If and when he decides to cut and run, will you tell him about Jace?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want him thinking I am trying to keep him down,” I said.
“What about Jace? Doesn’t he deserve to know the truth?”
“Yes, and he will one day, but what good can come from telling him now? We all know Nash isn’t in this for the long run. It would only hurt Jace. He would be left feeling abandoned, unloved, and unwanted. I won’t do that to him. I made the decision long ago to raise him on my own. I knew there would be struggles. This is just another struggle. I’ll get through it too.”
“Okay, I’ll support you, but for the record, I think you should tell Nash at least. Let him decide if he’s going to stay in Jace’s life.”
“I don’t want him to feel obligated.”
“It doesn’t matter if he’s obligated,” she said. “He is obligated. It is his child and you’ve been carrying the burden all alone. He should at least offer to pay you child support, and don’t say you don’t need it. You can put it in savings for Jace.”
“I’ll think about it,” I said. “Now, help me find something sexy. I want to be ready for the next trip.”
She threw her head back and laughed. “You are a glutton for punishment.”
“I am but I may as well look good while I’m putting myself into a horrible position.”
Chapter 62
Nash
My house was empty. It was always empty. It was weird to think I had lived alone for twenty years and it never bothered me. I wasn’t sure if I was stepping into the midst of a midlife crisis or what, but I felt melancholy. I was looking back at my life and realized I purposely made sure I would always be alone. I thought I was saving myself, but it was becoming clear I fucked that whole thing up.
It was a Friday night. Most guys my age were settling in with their families. They might plan a trip out to their Hamptons home or be getting ready for a busy weekend of soccer and dance recitals. Being with Saige and Jace last weekend showed me what I didn’t have. I had everything money could buy, but I didn’t have that feeling of belonging.
“Suck it up,” I grumbled. I was being a little bitch. I went to the liquor cabinet and opened a new bottle before pouring myself a glass. “Another exciting Friday night.”
I could go into my office and work. I could make another million dollars if I wanted to. It used to give me a lot of joy. Now it was boring. I had enough money to last me three lifetimes. It was almost too easy. I missed the struggle. I missed the challenge.
I settled in my recliner and flipped on the huge flat screen that dominated the wall. I watched the news for a bit and quickly decided I preferred to stay ignorant to what was happening around me. When my phone rang, I practically leapt out of the recliner. Human interaction was welcome.
“Hello?”
“Nash, it’s Saige.”
I looked at the screen as if I wasn’t sure it was really her. “What’s up? Is everything okay? Jace?”
“He’s fine. He’s staying the night with Joss and Caitlyn. She had tickets to some kid show that she wanted to take them to. I’m off for the night.”
I smiled. I had a good idea where this was going. “You’re all alone?”
“I am. What are you doing?”
“I am drinking. Alone.”
She hesitated for a very long second. “Do you want company?”
“I do,” I answered. “Why don’t you come to my place? Like I said, I’ve been drinking.”
I looked at the glass of liquor I had barely touched. That wasn’t the point. I wanted her to come over to my house. I wasn’t trying to impress her, but I had a hot tub and a pool. A little