wolf began the process of shape-shifting, forcing him to change. Wolf. Human. Wolf. Ruben struggled, gripping his rapidly shredding humanity and trying like hell to hold on. If he let the wolf win, even once, what little tenuous hold he had on his sanity would be gone.
He could not let the beast win.
As he battled for his sanity, his life, a horrible sound burst from his throat. Snarl, howl and part moan. He heard this dimly, as though from a great distance, even as he felt another cry bubble up inside him.
An uneven fight, this. In prime condition, the wolf had watched and waited, with the perfect patience of its kind. And when Ruben had let down his guard, his attention focused on Willow, the animal had struck.
Payback time.
“Ruben?” Willow’s voice, sweet and worried and curious. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
He could no more answer her than he could let the wolf win. But when she reached out and placed her soft hand on his arm, his inner wolf roared.
Even now, the beast craved her.
Even now, so did the man.
The momentary distraction was enough. Ruthless, Ruben fought back the wolf, penning it into a mental cage and locking the door. Then, exhausted and breathing heavily, he opened his eyes to find Willow surveying him as though she feared he’d become possessed.
In a way, that’s exactly what he’d been.
“Are you all right?” she repeated.
Temporarily unable to speak, he nodded. Because he feared at any moment his legs would give out from under him, he let himself sink to the floor.
“I’m going to call for help,” Willow said.
“No,” he croaked. “Please. Just sit with me.”
Looking alarmed, she slowly and reluctantly did as he’d asked, dropping to the ground alongside him. “What just happened? Was that normal?”
As he tried to catch his breath, he also gathered his thoughts, attempting to figure out some sort of cohesive explanation.
“My wolf wanted out,” he finally told her.
She leaned close, searching his face. “You mean you were about to actually shape-shift into a wolf?”
“Sort of.” Closing his eyes so he couldn’t see her expression, he sighed. “I know you wanted to see what it was like, but that change wouldn’t have been a good one. Sometimes my inner wolf tries to gain control.”
“And you have to be the one who is in command of it?”
“Yes. Otherwise it’s...dangerous. I have to fight him for the right to remain human.” He wondered if she’d really understand what this meant.
“Is shape-shifting like that for every Shifter?”
Wordlessly, he shook his head.
“I see,” she said, making him wonder if she really did. “What happens if you lose?”
“Good question. I don’t know. So far that hasn’t happened.” He shuddered, thinking about the repercussions were such a thing to become reality. “And I don’t want it to.”
“I’m sorry.” She sounded sincere. “I shouldn’t have asked you to become a wolf like you’re a performer in a circus or something. I promise you, it won’t happen again.”
“That’s okay.” He didn’t bother to keep the exhaustion out of his voice. “My wolf and I battle constantly. It could have happened regardless.”
Again that pause, as though she was holding her breath. He made the mistake of opening his eyes, to find her much closer than was prudent.
“I have to wonder,” she murmured, her gaze fixed on his mouth. “What would happen if you let the wolf win, just once?”
Temptation, both the woman and the thought. He knew an instant’s fierce aching, a wild flash of need, before he shoved the notion away. Partly because he didn’t want her to know the truth, and partly because he’d fought enough battles for one day, he gave in to one temptation, at least. The lesser of two evils.
The instant he covered her lips with his, he knew he’d made the right choice.
Kissing her was like coming home. And more. Arousal and sanity were commingled in her mouth and as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed closer, he thought he might never want to leave.
And that, he knew, carried yet another chance of dangerous madness. Yet this was a risk he was willing to take.
Chapter 11
They fit together like separate halves of a whole. Soft where Ruben was hard, she smelled of flowers and the pine scent of the forest. The kiss went on and on, a lingering embrace, neither willing to break apart. Finally, aroused and aching and much wearier than he should be, Ruben gently set her apart. He might be many things, but he knew