When I closed my eyes, I saw his light there, the bright orange still bouncing around, just not as much as before, like his energy was seriously depleted.
The fact that I could see him here when I hadn’t in that other place told me this was the status quo, and I hated that what had been a joyful experience was suddenly a nightmare.
And I had to go through it two more times.
Fear hit me hard, and I shuddered in Eli’s arms, whispering, “I’m scared.”
“You don’t have to be,” he said instantly, and though his strength reassured me, also, it didn’t.
He didn’t know what we’d just gone through in that place where I’d thought we were safe.
I trembled, then muttered, “You can’t keep me safe there.”
“Where?” Ethan asked, his brow furrowed as he bowed over his brother.
“To—”
“I’ll always keep you safe,” Eli insisted as he reached up, grabbed my chin, and tipped it so I was staring up at him. When his mouth connected with mine?
I moaned into his kiss because I felt it happening again.
Before the fear could overwhelm me, I was there, back in that clearing where the wolf’s corpse lay on the ground, except, at my side, Austin wasn’t injured and broken, Eli was there.
My mouth quivered as I stared around, and unlike before, I was nervous where I’d been calm.
This place had its own snakes of Eden, and I felt the loss of my innocence as much as if I’d bitten into the apple of knowledge itself.
“Where the hell are we?”
I gulped, looked at him, and muttered, “When you kissed me, you brought us here.”
“I did?” He blinked. “This isn’t a dream. I thought I was hallucinating.”
I almost wanted to laugh, but I couldn’t. Didn’t. Instead, I shuddered and pressed my hands to my face.
He was there, just like he’d been before. Almost in an instant. I shivered when his arm came around me, holding me tighter, and I let him move us away from the dead wolf, away from the place of carnage, and toward the pool.
I scented it so strongly that it was like the water was in my nose. Like I’d snorted it down by accident.
“I need to get clean,” I told him, raising my arm so I could point at the pool. “That’s where we wash up.”
I felt his confusion, his outright bewilderment, and as much as I felt bad about it, I genuinely didn’t have it in me to explain anything at the moment.
Only knowing Austin was with Ethan, knowing he’d keep him safe and that my bargain had been accepted, that by the time I returned, maybe he’d be feeling better in those few moments, stopped me from breaking down entirely.
We made it to the pool with me tucked into Eli’s embrace like I was an old woman and he needed to guide me to a chair—an analogy that reminded me far too much of how I’d felt when I had fibromyalgia and couldn’t get up out of bed without a lot of help and a lot of energy.
Shoving those thoughts aside, because they were, thankfully, in the past, I waded into the water, content when I was up to my waist in it.
I turned and grimaced when I realized Eli was in the pool up to his thighs, and he was drenched now.
Wincing, I muttered, “Sorry.”
“You never have to apologize,” was all he said, and as lovely as that was, I shook my head at him.
“That isn’t fair.”
He arched a brow. “Isn’t that for me to decide?”
His snooty tone, despite my distress, made me snort out a laugh. “You’re so arrogant sometimes,” I commented softly, my grin widening, and the fact that it could make an appearance at all was enough to blow my mind straight out of my ears.
Okay, I sounded hysterical, and I was a little.
I was all over the place, and I felt winded.
I’d left this place with a broken mate in my arms, and now I was here with another, and he needed answers and wanted things explained to him, but I had no words.
I could only giggle and tell him he was arrogant.
I almost slapped myself in the face, but instead, I let myself flop backward and float in the water.
I heard him wade back to shore, and was grateful he gave me a handful of moments to get myself together.
Composed I definitely wasn’t, but I knew I needed to be. I needed this to be our time, because that was what