Eli was out. I hated that. I knew he was at one of the pack businesses, knew he was scoping things out for when he decided on his next plan of action.
That he was taking so long to act when he was decisive by nature told me he was nervous, and it was the kind of nervous I couldn’t soothe.
He took too much on, bore too heavy a burden, and though I could help ease the strain, I couldn’t erase it entirely.
Instead, I just tried to share it, and I figured I was doing an okay job of it because he hadn’t complained yet.
Ethan, on the other hand, was in the office where Eli worked, so I wandered in there, smiling when I saw him sitting at Eli’s desk.
“Rebel,” I called out when, after finishing his call, he put down the landline and twisted to look at me.
His grin was sheepish, but he beckoned me with his hand, and I moved toward him, easily slipping onto his lap like I’d been doing it since I was young, and not just in the past month or so.
Everything about us was as natural as night following day, and the ease of it all just settled in my soul, making everything a thousand times better.
When I rested against him, my butt against his crotch, I felt his dick harden, but mostly, I felt the way he wanted comfort and wouldn’t ask for it.
His arms slipped around my waist, and he rocked us back as he sighed. “Feels good to have you in my arms, mate.”
They were all surprisingly tactile, but I wasn’t about to complain about it. I figured they were all alphas, all manly men who weren’t allowed to show weakness…only to me.
“Everything okay?”
He shrugged. “Just a lot going on right now.”
My eyes narrowed at that, and I twisted somewhat so I could look up at him. “Who was that on the phone?”
“Uncle Frank,” he said bitterly.
“What did he want?”
“He extended an invitation for us to go down to the family pack.” His jaw worked for a second. “I have no desire to go.”
“I know you don’t. We discussed this already,” I told him calmly, accepting his choice, even if I didn’t necessarily agree with it.
He huffed, apparently sensing that, and muttered, “If anyone should understand that family isn’t everything, it’s you.”
I arched a brow, surprised by his tone. “My situation is a lot different than yours. Plus, your family wants you in the circle. There’s a difference.”
“They don’t want us,” he muttered, that same bitterness etching his voice. “They just want to see their brother or their nephew or whoever in us—”
I frowned. “You’re more than your father, and if what Eli said is true, then your father was a convict. I mean, I’m not saying that’s bad, but from what I’ve learned—and I figure Cyrilo was a pretty big lesson to be taught—a shifter has to do something bad for the pack to allow him to be jailed in human prisons.”
He huffed. “Yeah.”
“You know what Lucas did?”
“Killed someone, apparently.” His sullenness didn’t come as a surprise. But his answer did.
I wasn’t sure what to say to that, wasn’t sure how to ease this particular ache.
“You don’t like that you understand Eli’s father’s reasoning, do you?” I guessed cautiously.
He hissed under his breath. “No. Fuck, why do you always know what I’m feeling?”
I snorted. “It’s kind of what I do.”
“Yeah, but still.” He blew out a breath. “If another male came to our union and he was a convict? I wouldn’t let him anywhere near you.” He gulped. “I don’t like that. I don’t like that I’m anything like that fucker.”
“You’re protective of me. I get it,” I told him softly, surprised by his cursing. “You don’t need to beat yourself up over this, Ethan. We don’t know the ins and outs. Maybe it was self-defense. You don’t know. Unless you look.”
“I don’t want to,” he confessed.
“Then don’t.”
“It’s not as easy as that.”
“No, it isn’t,” I confirmed, “but the truth is, you have a long life ahead of you. A lot of time to figure out your roots. Just covering them up won’t help you, love. Just burying your head in the sand when you need answers will get you nowhere.”
“True.” He grunted. “Maybe in time.”
“Yeah. In time.”
He cleared his throat after a while of us just sitting together, restful despite the conversation at hand. “Sabina?”