muscles as, eventually, I settled with her on my lap and in my arms, my lower body up to mid-waist in the water.
For a moment, I did nothing other than just behold her.
She was precious to me in so many ways she’d never know, but at that moment, she was a fucking lifeline.
Austin and I had a love-hate relationship.
We worked together, lived together, and truthfully, if things hadn’t worked out the way they had with Sabina, I’m not entirely sure what would have happened.
Neither of us had ever talked about it, but damn.
Without Austin in my life, there’d be a gaping hole.
How had I only just realized this?
There’d been no doubt about how the challenge would work out with Brandon. He was a weakling. I’d seen dogs who fit the role of beta better than he did. And that was saying something.
I actually knew some very smart pit bulls.
But what he’d gone through?
He might not have lived.
And what Sabina might have gone through?
If she’d died…
Mother.
I’d have been alone.
Without the claiming to tie me to her, like her bond with Eli and Austin did, I’d have been alone.
I would have no one in the universe with me as they, too, perished after her passing.
Christ.
My throat felt thick, and my heart pounded in my chest as the sheer weight of those thoughts hit me.
Slowly, I raised her so she was higher up on my chest, and I hugged her to me.
Needing the connection.
The confirmation.
I could hear her heart beating. Not too softly, not too quickly. Just the right rate.
She no longer stank of blood and gore, the odd flies had cleansed her of that—just the thought made me want to cringe—and everything about her appeared to be as it had been before.
So, why did I feel so different if she was the same as ever?
The press of my cheek to her temple grounded me in ways I couldn’t explain, but it sent relief bellowing through my system.
I just sat there, for hours on end, wishing for a cigarette, staring at nothing with her in my arms, grateful Austin was alive, grateful for my mate, and grateful that we had Eli to unite us together.
They said the Mother worked in mysterious ways, well, this was living proof of that.
Eleven
Sabina
I awoke thinking I’d peed myself.
Never a nice sensation.
I tried to think if I’d had that dream where you were using the bathroom, but actually, you weren’t. I could still remember that happening when I was fourteen and my brother not letting me hear the end of it.
Even as my lips twisted into a grimace at the memory, I forced my eyes open because, the memory hit me.
I no longer slept alone. For nearly a dozen nights, I’d slept tangled up in another’s arms… Had I peed on one of them too?
Before mortification could hit me, I opened my eyes, and when I saw the pool, my brow furrowed.
That I was back here again didn’t come as a surprise, considering I still had to claim Ethan, but that I hadn’t peed the bed made me so damn happy, I almost chuckled.
Even as memories of what had happened—of the cougar, of Eli’s wolf’s power over me and how I’d shed it off like it was a second skin—flooded me, none of it held the force of my relief.
“What’s so funny?”
I sighed at the gruff voice.
Eli was somber. Ethan was just plain serious.
Both of them either needed a chill pill or some happy gas, and lucky for them, I came free and with no co-pay.
I nuzzled my forehead into his chin and muttered, “Nothing. Just good to wake up in your arms.”
He sighed, and the scent around him surprised me. Especially since I was, essentially, smelling his feelings.
He smelled of Ethan.
Like musk and the spice of sandalwood.
But beneath it, I felt something else…
“Are you okay?” I peered up at him, frowning as I did so. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” He shrugged. “You’ve been out of it for a little while.”
“How long’s a little while?”
“Long enough for me to get pins and needles in my arms,” he replied, and with Austin, I’d have laughed because it was a joke, with Ethan, it was a statement of fact.
I wiggled out of his embrace, concerned for his poor arms, but he hauled me back to him.
Okaaaaaay.
Something was definitely not right in the state of Denmark.
I cleared my throat as I pulled back slightly so my nose wasn’t plunked into his pecs, but fuck, it was a nice place to be.