At Wits' End - Kenzie Reed Page 0,34
answers right away. “Ouch! Hello, Sienna. Ouch, damn it! Sorry, the baby’s biting my boob.”
“Seriously?” I laugh. “Is that normal?”
“Doubtful. She’s my daughter, after all. Honey, will you take our vampire child and give her a teething ring?” she calls out to her husband. “Better keep her away from garlic and crucifixes, just in case. Thanks, babe.” She returns her attention to me. “What’s happening? Is it annulment time? Did you say ‘the word’?” she says hopefully.
“Oh, stop it. I don’t need an annulment. I can handle Donovan with both hands tied behind my back.”
“Interesting. Are you saying that you want to handle Donovan with both hands tied behind your back? Or rather, you want him to handle you?”
My cheeks burn with embarrassment, and hazy, kinky images swim through my mind before I banish them to the depths of Hell. Pamela and her Bestie ESP. There’s a thin line between love and hate, indeed.
“Forget about Donovan. I have bigger fish to fry.”
“Bigger than a fake marriage to your mortal enemy? Do tell.”
“Aunt Ferdie’s business situation is a total crapfest nightmare.”
“Be a little more specific. I thought you guys had tons of business? I mean, I can’t drink since I’m breastfeeding, but my hubby, that bastard, goes over there whenever you have tasting days, and he says it’s always packed.” She yells out, “Love you, honey! Even if you can drink wine and coffee and I can’t, you son of a bitch.” Then she returns her attention to me. “Go on.”
“It’s packed on tasting days, yes. And we have good sales. Not great. We’ve got a lot of product that we could move if we could just bring in more business, but right now it’s just sitting there gathering dust and not making us any money. And she’s got creditors dunning her, I need to hire more people to keep the vineyard running and we can’t afford it, we have equipment that needs repairing, and I don’t know how I’m going to finance my way through the summer.”
“Okay, well, the creditors are something I can actually help with. Why don’t you organize all of the bills and bring them to me tomorrow? I’ll act as your attorney, contact her creditors, and arrange payment plans with all of them that will carry you through until the property sale.” There’s a moment of silence. “Do you think there’s any chance that she’ll refuse to take the money from the sale when she finds out about the whole fake marriage thing?”
“Once everything’s said and done, no. She’s going to be mad as hell at all of us, but she’ll be mad with a few million bucks in the bank, and she can use it to get her business back in the black, hire new people, buy new equipment, maybe plant some more vines so in three or four years we could expand production, maybe expand the seating area and get a restaurant license…” I sigh.
“So what could you do to immediately raise funds? You’ve got inventory, it’s excellent, how could you let people know about it?”
I lean back in my chair, massaging my temple with my free thumb. “Well, spring and summer are our most profitable seasons, of course, but there’s no real plan in place to take advantage of that. She hardly does any marketing. Our website is caca-doody.”
“Yes, it is. My seven-year-old niece makes better websites.”
That would be Deborah, who, according to Pamela’s Facebook page, just lost two of her baby teeth and has a glitter pen obsession. “Can I hire her? Not even joking.” I could pay her in…coloring books? Chocolate brownies? My chocolate brownies kick ass. They’re at least fifty percent as good as the chocolate-chip cookies baked by Nanny Sue, the Witlockes’ chef.
“Unfortunately she’s fully booked. Right now she’s busy revamping her dad’s website for the junkyard, and then after that there’s an art supplies store in town waiting for her services. Even better, though – I’ve got an excellent marketing company who could revamp your website, and also set you up on social media. They’re from a town in Bitter End, North Carolina and they totally kick ass. They’ll generate ideas for publicity, set up accounts on all the social media sites, and honestly, I am positive you’d see a really quick return.”
She names a price that makes my eyes water.
“Okay, okay, let me run the numbers in my head…”
Time to get creative. I massage my temples. I’ve already worked out what the winery needs as a bare