the assurance that Lily would arrive shortly, Hayle began fidgeting, first with the zipper on his coat and then his hair. Not knowing what I could say to possibly calm him, I reached for one of his hands instead and threaded my fingers through his.
Holding hands wasn’t something we’d really done, but it still felt natural. Like we should have been doing so for months. There were probably lots of things we should have been doing for months, if Kelsey, Leo, and Tristin hadn’t been distracting us.
Not that I was complaining about Leo’s and Tristin’s roles in all of this. I had to believe that the circuitous route we’d taken was necessary to get us to where we were today. And, especially after they’d surprised me with the Christmas tree last night, I had to say that where we were was pretty perfect.
Well, almost, I thought as Hayle squeezed my hand. He was probably right about this visit needing to happen for us. I just wasn’t convinced there would still be an us when all was said and done.
A few minutes later, Lily appeared wearing a turquoise tunic over loose-fitting black pants. Her long, black hair was hanging down her back, and her face was free of cosmetics. She looked serene, even happy…until her gaze settled on me.
That wildness I’d seen in her eyes on Thanksgiving re-emerged, and I took an involuntary step back. Maybe standing by Hayle’s side wasn’t such a good idea, after all. Behind him—now, that sounded more like it.
But he didn’t release my hand, and I was stuck next to him if I didn’t want to make a fuss. I had a feeling his mother would make enough of a fuss for both of us, so I stayed put.
The same aide who had accompanied us to the courtyard followed Lily but hung back out of earshot, taking a seat at one of the small tables scattered through the space. At least I would have an extra witness if Lily decided to attack me again. It would have to be with her bare hands this time, since there was no way she was hiding any sharp objects in that outfit.
“Hayle.” She smiled widely at her son and opened her arms up to him. He let go of me to step into her embrace, and I took that opportunity to put some extra distance between us.
Her nearness was making my stomach rise and pitch, like I was riding a roller coaster through a tornado. I wanted to get as far away from her as possible. I wanted to wring her neck and demand that she confess all of her sins. More than anything, I wanted to duck for cover.
As crazy as it seemed, I had to remind myself that I wasn’t defenseless. That I could fight back, and, this time, I could run away.
“It’s good to see you, Mom,” Hayle said. “How are you doing?”
“Better now that you’re here.” She brushed a chunk of hair off his forehead, and I just barely resisted the urge to yank her hand away. Logically, I knew she wouldn’t hurt him. But I wasn’t feeling very logical at the moment.
Lily took a step back and glanced in my direction. “Though I was expecting you to come alone.”
“I thought it was important to clear the air between you and Thea after what happened,” he said simply.
Maybe too simply, because it was enough to set his mother off. “After she lied to you about me, you mean?”
As disturbed as I was by her presence, I wanted to roll my eyes. Apparently, she was still playing the victim. It seemed to be her default.
“Why don’t we sit?” Hayle suggested rather than responding to her accusation.
When she didn’t immediately move, he pressed his hand to her upper back and steered her to one of the tables. I followed a few steps behind, still certain that my being here was a huge mistake. Lily was never going to fess up to what she’d done—to any of it.
After they were both seated, Hayle turned pleading eyes on me. A small, round table between me and his mother didn’t seem like enough. But I’d already promised myself I was going to support him through this, and that meant sitting my ass down.
Over the next fifteen minutes, Lily did an admirable job of pretending like I didn’t exist as she and Hayle discussed trivial things, like finals and his plan for the holidays. She told him about her daily routine