day that I fell. I have not seen her since then. I am not happy to see her now. I am still angry with her for turning on my television and luring nosy Nurse Stronk into the room.
But the sight of her is also a disappointment, because I have been hoping that the next parent to visit me would be my father. I have been missing him lately. My father was always so clear and organized. Lately I have been dipping in and out of confusion, and I want to look into my father’s blue eyes. I want for his clarity. He always made me feel calm and purposeful. My mother just confuses me further.
If I ignore her, she might go away. I turn toward Weber and say, “It’s so nice to see you again. Come sit here by me.”
He smiles and Lila smiles, too. She trails two steps behind, and when he sits down on the ottoman beside my chair, she stands beside him in the spot Noreen vacated when she went outside to see her children. I would like to meet Noreen’s children, after hearing so much about them. In a few minutes perhaps I will slip outside and do just that.
“I met you in the street,” Kelly says to Weber, a confused look on her face.
Lila says, “This is my . . . boyfriend, Weber.”
“You don’t know your daughter’s boyfriend?” Meggy says.
“I ran into him outside the barbershop.”
Gracie leans forward sharply in her chair, almost knocking Grayson’s hand off her shoulder. “Outside of the barbershop?”
“Yes,” Kelly says. She looks as if she’s spun from confusion to something much worse, something more uncomfortable.
“What were you doing at the barbershop, Mom?” Gracie’s strange voice seems to immobilize Kelly. I watch the mother and daughter face each other. This is torturous, because I don’t know who, or how, to help. I have never known Gracie to speak up like this. For her, this is the equivalent of a direct attack.
At first it doesn’t seem as if Kelly is going to respond. The entire room waits. “It’s no longer relevant,” Kelly says, and turns to Weber. “Can I take the present from you? We have a pile of them on the table.”
Weber hands over the wrapped present he has been holding on his lap. Kelly walks the box with great purpose over to the dining-room table. I can almost see a line of anger, of something, run across the room between Kelly and Gracie. Between my oldest living daughter and her oldest daughter. The line lengthens, and crackles with electricity with each step Kelly takes.
“What is going on here?” I say. “For heaven’s sake, can’t we even show a little politeness to a guest?”
There is another murmur from the women in the room. “Sorry . . . nice to meet you, Weber . . . Would you like an iced tea? Didn’t know Lila had a boyfriend . . . Full of surprises.”
So, these are your children, my mother says. I cannot be sure from across the room, but I think there are tears in her eyes.
These are my daughters, I say, wishing that they would behave more appropriately. Didn’t I tell them from the time they were young: Be on your best behavior while at a party? I remind my mother that I also have three sons. Johnny, Pat, and Ryan.
My mother nods. Ryan is the crippled boy who almost died in the fire. The one who reminds you of me.
I cannot answer this. I concentrate on Gracie. The baby is coming so soon. It will be any day now. I don’t have long to wait.
“Mother,” Kelly says. “Everyone has filled out their slips of paper. We’re waiting on you.”
“I want to know what we win if we’re right about the size and due date,” Meggy says. “I hope you put up some decent money for the pot.”
“I was thinking more along the lines of a gag gift.” Kelly sounds tired. “Are you done, Mother?”
“That’s bogus,” Meggy says.
I hope that my mother doesn’t notice Meggy and Kelly’s endless bickering. I know I shouldn’t care, but I want her to think well of my children. What I have made is in this room. This is my life’s work. This is what I have left and this is what I will leave behind.
“Gram doesn’t have to play the game if she doesn’t want to,” Gracie says. “Let her do what she wants, Mom.”
“It’s your party,” Kelly says. “I just thought it would