this baby. “That would be such a perfect opportunity for him to bond with the newborn.”
My mother gives Meggy a look. “A wedding should put all of your ridiculousness to rest.” She is as high as a kite, envisioning endings that make sense to her, that she can work with. “Maybe you should have a proper wedding, Gracie, in a church? Why have a rushed ceremony at the courthouse? We could plan a wonderful wedding.”
This is the last thing I hear as I make it undetected out of the room, down the front hall, and out the door just in time to stop Weber from ringing the bell.
HE IS standing on the front step with his hand raised. He takes a step backward when I appear, and makes room for me on the top step.
“Hi,” he says.
“Hi.” We are standing very close together and I can smell him. He always smells like a sandy beach, like salt water and waves. He is wearing a sports coat and a tie. I have only seen him in jeans and one of his many T-shirts, or his fireman’s uniform. Today he looks like a boy dressed up as a man. Even his crew cut appears neatly combed. He has a wrapped present under his arm.
“I’ve never been to a baby shower before,” he says. “I didn’t know what to wear.”
I am pleased that my voice sounds fairly normal. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”
“I thought it would be bad karma to turn down an invitation from your grandmother.”
“Oh.” It occurs to me that maybe I should have worried about bad karma when I asked him to come here with a lie. The least I can do at this point is be honest. I have nothing to lose. Weber can’t even bear to look at me. He is here because of my grandmother. Never underestimate the power of Gram.
“I sent the invitation,” I say. “I put my grandmother’s return address on it because I didn’t think you’d come if you knew it was from me. Are you dating anyone?” The last question slips out, a surprise that makes my face burn.
“No.” Weber looks at me now. He seems to be blushing as well. “Why did you want me here, Lila?”
“So we could talk.” I think, Be more specific. “So I could apologize.”
“You could have called. I thought you might, a few weeks ago.”
This stops me. I should have called him. Of course. I’m an idiot. He was waiting for me to call.
The only response I can think to make is: “I dropped out of medical school because of you.”
Weber stares at me as if I’ve lost my mind. “You did what? Why would you do that?”
“It wasn’t all because of you . . . it’s just that you made me realize . . .” I stop. I can’t put into words the emotions that led me from seeing his face at the fire to making things official at the registrar’s office. I have no idea where to even start.
“Lila, you said that you didn’t care about me.” Sweat appears on Weber’s forehead almost as soon as he finishes wiping it away. I have the crazy urge to lean in closer and lick the beads of salty water away with my tongue. I want to taste him, to have that taste inside me while we talk.
“I meant it at the time,” I say. “I wish you’d kept ignoring me.”
“I ignored you at first because I thought you were putting on an act. I could tell you were scared. And I believed we’d been drawn together so that I could show you how good it could be.” Weber gives me a sharp look. “See, you can’t stand my talking like that, saying that we were drawn together, even now!”
“That’s not true,” I say, trying to keep my face perfectly composed. “I might agree with you, you might have been right.”
“Might have? That’s wishy-washy language.”
“Are you calling me a liar?”
“I’m trying to tell you why it doesn’t matter. Because that day at Dairy Queen I knew that you were talking to me. I mean, you were talking through that girl to me. You were telling me, in a different way, that you really didn’t want anyone around you. And I believed you. You were so furious that I had to believe you.”
I can feel my brain rushing around, grabbing bits of ideas. “So, you’re saying that you were wrong all along? We weren’t meant to be together? Your