“Oh,” Tom said. “Count me out. I think I’ll head home.”
“No!” I said, doing deep disappointment. “It’s early. Just have the one.”
“Ah, no. I’m driving—”
“Oh, that’s right! You told me! Jesus, my head—”
“—and I don’t want to leave my mum with the kids for too long,” Tom explained. “Zach’s been acting up a bit, the last while.”
I didn’t blame him for being in a hurry; “acting up,” by Zach’s standards, probably involved a SWAT team and a biohazard squad. “I know Zach’s a little bollix sometimes,” Susanna said, reading my expression, “but we’ve been working on it. He just needs to get his head round the idea that other people are real too, and he’ll be fine. He was doing a lot better, but finding the skull threw him for a total loop. If other people are real, then obviously that means the skull was a real person, and that’s way more than he can handle. So his head’s wrecked and he’s being a pain in the hole.”
“Right,” I said. “Fair enough.”
“It is, really,” Tom said, patting his pockets and peering around as if he might have dropped something. “It’s a bit of a headwrecker even for us, isn’t it, and we’re grown adults. He’ll be fine in the end. Have a great night”—waving vaguely and benignly at all of us; and to Susanna, who tilted up her face to meet his kiss, “No hurry. Enjoy yourself.”
“Sorry,” Leon said, to all of us, when he was gone. “For being bitchy.”
“You’re OK,” I said. Melissa smiled and threw him a lime: “There,” she said. “To make things better.”
“I’m just a total stress ball today. I got a really pissy phone call from my boss, throwing a massive fit about when I’ll be back—”
“In fairness,” Susanna said, slicing cucumber neatly, “you can see how they might want to know.”
“He didn’t have to be a gigantic arsehole about it.” Leon leaned back against the counter and pushed his fingers into the corners of his eyes. “I don’t know why I let it get to me. I’m probably going to move anyway. I’m bored of Berlin.”
“What?” I said, startled, turning with the gin bottle in my hand. “What about Whatshisname?”
“His name’s Carsten. Do I go around forgetting Melissa’s name?”
“You probably would if you’d taken a bang or two to the head,” I said. It was getting easier to say stuff like that, which was useful but bothered me all the same.
“I wouldn’t,” Leon said, smiling across at Melissa, although it clearly took an effort. “She’s unforgettable. Anyway”—taking the knife off Susanna, starting on the lime—“Carsten’ll survive. I think he might be cheating on me anyway, or at least thinking about it.”
“He’s not cheating on you,” Susanna said, like she had said it several times before.
“He keeps mentioning this ex of his.”
“Mentioning him how? Like, ‘God, I miss Superex so much, lucky I didn’t delete his number’? Or like, ‘Oh, right, I remember that film, I think I saw it with Whatshisname’?”
“Does it matter? He’s mentioning him.”
“You’re looking for an excuse.”
“I am not. I’m just sick of Berlin, and I’m not going to hang around for someone who can’t stop banging on about some other guy. What do you care? You don’t even know Carsten—which by the way isn’t my fault, I’ve invited you over like a million times—”
“Totally looking for an excuse. That’s why you’re still here, too. You’re hoping work will get sick of it and fire you.”
“Can we not talk about this any more?” Leon asked abruptly. His voice was a notch too high. “Please?”
“Your wish is our command,” I said, giving him a clap on the shoulder as I passed—he winced. “Tonight’s about relaxing, remember?”
“That reminds me,” Susanna said. “Here.” She fished in her jeans pocket, pulled out something small and tossed it to Leon.
He caught it, peered and did a jaw-dropped double take. “OhmyGod. Are you serious?”
“Anything for you, babe. Plus if you keep stressing out, you’re going to start stressing me too.”
“You beauty,” Leon said, with heartfelt awe.
“Skin up. Before you give yourself a stroke.”
“You are a beauty,” I said. This was perfect, exactly what I needed to loosen everyone up. I should have thought of it myself, but the fact that Susanna had done it for me seemed like a gift dropped from the heavens straight into my hands. “I thought you didn’t want to do anything dodgy in case the detectives find out.”