started rocking on top of him. It felt pretty strange at first, given I was still wearing my waterproof coat. From the waist up, I looked like a countryside rambler; under that, well, I was probably blue and pimply given that it was a cold October afternoon and the sun had dropped behind the hedge. But my initial fears subsided after a few moments and disappeared completely when Rory licked his thumb and reached forward to rub me with it.
‘Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God,’ I repeated, as he circled it again and again around my clitoris.
‘Look at me,’ he instructed whenever I threw my head back at the intense heat of the pleasure, so I’d drop my chin again and look straight at him.
Moments later, I felt myself start to contract around him as he moved inside me, faster and faster, his hand speeding up simultaneously, pushing harder between my legs.
‘Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God,’ I gasped, so the words became one. ‘OhmygodohmygodohmygodOHMYGOD.’
‘Oh my God, COWABUNGAAAAAAAAA!’ said Rory, thrusting his head back into the grass as we came together.
‘Oh my gosh!’ came a different, more surprised voice, as a man’s head poked through the gap in the hedge. ‘Sorry, old bean, I heard voices and thought you might have lost this.’ The man tossed Rory’s hat towards us and vanished again.
‘Ah,’ said Rory, glancing at the hat, which had landed next to my bare knee. ‘Florence, you’ve now met my father.’
I was embarrassed for various reasons when I came downstairs with Rory for drinks later that evening. Largely because I’d been caught rolling around on top of him in the herb garden. But also because Mia had got it wrong about the strapless red dress. Everyone else in the drawing room looked liked they were off to a Quaker meeting: men in corduroy trousers, women in muted dresses with long sleeves. I looked like I was going to the opera. Plus, the hourglass cut of the dress pushed my chest so high my cleavage practically started at my chin. I felt wretched. And cold. According to Rory, his father only put the heating on if the garden pond had frozen over.
‘Daddy, meet Florence, Florence meet Daddy,’ Rory said, introducing us as soon as we walked in.
‘Hello, Florence. Mortimer Dundee, how do you do? I hardly recognize you with your clothes on!’
‘I think the less said about that the better,’ Rory said quickly. ‘How was shooting?’
‘Bloody good fun. Now what are you both having to drink?’
Pulling open a cupboard door behind him, Mortimer revealed a mirrored drinks cupboard with bottles of jewel-coloured spirits.
‘Gin and tonic, I think,’ said Rory. ‘Florence?’
‘Could I start with a water?’ I felt as if I’d only just sobered up from lunch.
‘A water?’ boomed Mortimer. ‘Are you feeling all right?’ He leant in so close that I could see tiny red spider veins spreading either side of his nose like a road map. ‘Perhaps you need to rehydrate after earlier, eh?’
He roared at his own joke before turning back to the drinks cupboard. I breathed as deeply as I could in my dress and wished I’d written ‘nice parents’ on my list, instead of focusing on the mother.
‘And you remember Octavia?’ Rory said, one hand on my back as I turned to see the blonde from the House of Commons.
‘Course, hello, I didn’t know you’d be here!’
‘I wasn’t going to be, but then my parents said they were coming for dinner so I’ve abandoned London to join the party,’ Octavia said. The red lipstick was back on and she was wearing a pair of black jeans and a black silk shirt which made me feel even more out of place – a painted Russian doll.
‘I saw the pictures of you and that dog, so funny!’ she added, smirking at me like Cruella de Vil. ‘Quite the celebrity.’
‘What’s this?’ asked Mortimer, handing me a tumbler of water and Rory his gin and tonic.
‘Oh, Morty, it’s hilarious. You must see. Florence is an internet sensation.’
‘Is she now?’ he said, leering at me from behind his eyebrows.
‘No, I promise I’m not, it was just a silly mistake. A dog wh—’
‘Rory, sweetheart, hold this for me,’ interrupted Octavia. She handed her glass to him and pulled her phone from her jeans pocket.
‘Look, Morty, isn’t it brilliant?’ she said, holding it up so we could all see the screen, my gurning face and Percy wrapped around my leg like a baby koala. ‘He’s a