until he no longer thought about failure or what he’d done to put them in this predicament. And if what he’d just sussed out about this case was correct, things were going to get a lot uglier before they got any better.
With shaking hands, he gathered his papers. “It is not a good idea.” His eyes stayed on his movements as he further ordered his things, then left the neat stack on the desk for the librarian to shelve. Not waiting for her, he stood and walked away.
“Damn it, Win.” Her footsteps clattered behind him. He did not even know where he was headed, but he didn’t want to face her. Not when the feel of her lips was still upon him. “I know what we said before about choices but… Blast it, will you stop?”
He kept going. Down the bloody endless rows of bookshelves.
“I did not love you when we married!”
Win halted, the soles of his boots scuffing along the marble. Her confession robbed him of air and sent a spasm of pain through his chest. Slowly, he turned on his heel to face her, his heart going in slow, aching thuds. “What?”
Her expression was almost serene, as if she hadn’t just made him bleed internally. “I did not love you.” Her slim shoulders lifted. “I lusted after you, to be sure. Cared for you very much. But it wasn’t love.”
Cold comfort that. He swallowed and tried to think of a reply that did not involve shouting or cursing the world to bloody hell. Did she ever love him? No, he could not ask it. He knew he wouldn’t recover from that blow.
Perhaps aware of his turmoil, she looked about and then tugged him down a shadowed aisle between the shelves. Her voice, smooth as cream, surrounded him. “Do you remember that day when I told you about the bookstore?”
For a moment he couldn’t think, but merely searched her face and wondered if pregnancy left her slightly touched in the head. But she was watching him earnestly so he managed to nod.
Her eyes turned the color of fine cherry wood. “You believed in me,” she whispered, taking a step closer to him, “without proof of my ability, without question of my motives.”
He swallowed hard, his hand fisting at his side in an effort to keep still, for he needed to see this conversation through, not tug her into his arms. “I will always believe in you.” It was the truth. She was the strongest person he knew.
Her sweet mouth trembled as she smiled, a small, secretive smile. “I fell in love with you in that moment, Win. Utterly, irrevocably.”
Understanding washed over him, and it had his heart flipping over in his chest. “It had nothing to do with my bargain.”
“No. It never did. I hadn’t wanted to fall in love with you. It was too dangerous. But I fell despite myself.”
He reached out for her. The soft press of her breasts against his chest was the sweetest sort of pain. Her smooth cheeks were cool under his palms. “Poppy.” He leaned his forehead against hers and gave a helpless laugh. “Why do you tell me this now? When we are here?” When he couldn’t pull her to the floor and touch her the way he needed to?
“I’ve always had bad timing.”
Her lower lip pouted, and he gave in, suckling it between his lips for one gorgeous moment before letting go. “Yes, I know.”
Her breath turned unsteady. “But I wanted you to know.” Searching his face, she wrapped her hands around his wrists, holding him steady just as he held her. “I needed you to know. Isley is not responsible for our life.”
“To hell with it.” He was done resisting. He kissed her then. A gentle sip that shaped her lips against his like warm wax. He lapped at her wide bottom lip, nipped her shapely upper lip, and his body swayed, and only her hand upon his heart could keep him steady. He brushed his lips over her cheek and she sighed. The smooth column of her neck was cool against his mouth. Cool and fragrant. The scent and feel of her blindsided him, and he found himself simply holding her as he pressed his lips against her skin and inhaled. God she smelled good, like no perfume man could devise. It was simply her, unique and irreplaceable. She trembled and he gathered her closer, only to realize that it was he who shook. How could he have let