Wings of the Walker - CoraLee June Page 0,402

Agapimenos. Why stay where you aren't happy?"

I bit my lip. I wanted to explain why I was restricted to the Walker Dorms, but it felt too personal. I wasn't ready for Tallis to see that part of me.

"I kind of have to stay there, but let's not talk about that now. Can we find Gordon? I want to yell at him some more.” I stood up and stretched my tired legs. Surprisingly, I felt at peace here, despite spending all night in emotional turmoil about Jacob and chasing after Gordon. Maybe Tallis was right. Maybe I should seek my own happiness—my brothers be damned.

"About that, I think it’s best I speak to him alone. We have a lot to work through, and you have a habit of stealing the show, beautiful girl," Tallis winked. I saw through his attempt at flattery.

"Luckily for you, compliments are my weakness. Go talk to him, maybe I'll see what kind of trouble I can get into. Can..." I began with a cough. My shoulders dropped, and I felt my confidence slip. “Can we maybe have dinner together?" My voice lifted obnoxiously high at the end, and I wanted to slap myself in embarrassment.

Tallis leaned in close and placed both hands on my shoulders. "I'd love to have dinner with you tonight, but Cyler has called a leadership meeting. I need to be there," he explained. “Maybe you could come with me? It would be a great opportunity to announce our courtship.”

“I-I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet.”

Tallis frowned as I pushed a stray hair behind my ear. I bit the inside of my cheek so hard that the salty taste of blood filled my mouth. I knew it was ridiculous to be so withdrawn and difficult. But a courtship was a big deal, and Cyler’s words last night still haunted me. It wasn’t just the embarrassment of dating a Scavenger, it was the fear that Cyler would tell Tallis everything. That Tallis would see just how terrible I actually was.

Tallis didn’t see me as the woman that ruined her family. He didn’t think I was unlovable, or cruel. With him, I had a clean slate. A courtship meant so many things. Most of which I could handle. But revealing my past to him was one boundary I couldn’t cross. What if I dove into a relationship, just to have him leave me like everyone else had?

“What are you so afraid of? Isn’t this worth it?” Tallis grabbed my hand and kissed the inside of my wrist.

“I need more time. Just let me think, ok?” I grabbed my small bag.

“Don’t leave, Agapimenos. Stay— let's spend the day together. I can give you the time you need.” Tallis tone was filled with frantic hopefulness. I wanted to say yes, but it was all too much.

"I can’t." I turned and started my walk back to my lonely, empty room. Slow tears spilled down my face as I walked, focusing on my pounding head and not the pain in my heart.

A loud whistle that made the hair on the back of my neck stand, blasted around me. I turned back around and Tallis took six large steps before he was in front of me. He put two hands on my cheeks so that I was forced to look into this bright blue eyes. All around us, Scavengers who were doing their daily chores stopped to stare, but Tallis’ hold on me was unwavering.

“I’m not sure what just happened, but I want to make something incredibly clear, Agapimenos. I want to spend time with you. I want to learn more about the beautiful girl with a hardened heart and a soul that makes me want to wrap up in it and keep warm during the winter,” Tallis said in a melodic voice that broke me.

“I’ll wait however long you need, Ok? I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me, but just consider that this could be more, please? For my sake?” His eyes roamed my face and it took all the willpower I had not to let a tear fall. I sucked in a deep breath as he leaned a little closer. “You can go if you need to. Process what you’re feeling. But come back to me, and let's try again.”

Chapter Fourteen

I was moping, alone on the floor of my small room later that evening, when a harsh knock on the door pulled me out of my dim thoughts. Becca was off somewhere, probably harassing Kemper.