Wings of the Walker - CoraLee June Page 0,17

thick bile that rose up my throat. The two women then started chatting endlessly about hiring a new Walker with more skills than me.

After a few more minutes of finalizing details, Josiah dismissed me.

"Ashleigh, you are dismissed for the evening. I'm sure you have a lot of preparing to do, as Master Black here leaves by train in the morning with the first wave of Walkers."

The thought of spending four days on a train full of Walkers and Cyler Black made me reconsider my decision, but instead of vocalizing my concern like I wanted to, I merely nodded my head and walked down to my basement bedroom for the last time.

Chapter Seven

There wasn't much for me to pack. I owned only four dresses, one pair of shoes, and a small bag of toiletries. I owned more than what most in my position possessed. I was ready for my new life in Dormas in a mere fifteen minutes, which left me with hours to agonize over the betrayal I felt over Josiah's swift dismissal of me.

The past decade and a half had built a relationship that surpassed my unfortunate situation and made serving the Stonewell family worth all the work and restraint. If I had him, I could handle anything—could do almost anything. The realization that he never would be mine was devastating but nothing new.

The hours passed, and I cried silently to myself. I mourned for Josiah. For my freedom. For my fears. I researched information on Dormas on the house tablet. After a few general statistics and news reports of attacks by the Scavengers, I felt even more anxious about my decision.

My new home was underdeveloped and small. Walkers lacked the necessary means for survival, so until recently, their numbers were practically non-existent. Their citizens had to abide by strict rationing policies, and everyone was required to work.

It was a rural area known to be hot and humid year-round. The citizens of Dormas dressed differently there than they did in Galla, too. Everything about my new home would be different. I wanted to feel excited but found it to be difficult.

In the middle of the night, just as I was about to fall asleep from exhaustion, the door to the basement creaked open, and I heard the padding of footsteps down the stairs, leading to my bed.

"Ashleigh, are you awake?" Josiah's voice whispered.

I immediately sat up and searched the dark room for his face. I clicked on the nightlight he gave me, and we found ourselves staring silently at one another. Josiah then sat on the edge of my cot, clenching his fist. I watched him with trepidation and tried to swallow the sobs that demanded to break free.

"Why didn't you say no?" he finally asked quietly.

I considered his question for a moment then replied.

"Why didn't you?"

"I'm stuck, Ashleigh. I wanted to tell him to fuck off and leave my girl alone, but I'm not in the position to do that."

I shivered at his use of ‘my girl’ and allowed the tears to fall, finally. The ever-dutiful Josiah. His first love would always be the Stonewell name. I never stood a chance.

"You could have stopped him. You could have chosen me," I answered in a choked voice. The hurt from his secret engagement and dismissal piled on our conversation, and silent tears trickled down my cheeks.

"I wanted to choose you. Can't wanting be enough for us?" he asked.

We’d spent the last fifteen years wanting, and look where we were now; staring down the barrel of heartbreak and trying to cling to something we never had.

I inched closer to him on the bed and allowed myself the brief comfort of touching his hand with mine. My calloused fingertips felt rough against his porcelain skin.

"I used to think wanting you was enough,” I said honestly. “But I can't watch you be with someone else. I can't love something I can't have. I don't know what waits for me in Dormas, but if I have any hope of falling out of love with you, I have to leave." This moment was the first time I so openly and frankly admitted my feelings for Josiah. The admission felt freeing but also damning.

Josiah grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap. He clutched me tightly for what seemed like forever. His tears mixed with mine in a painful river down my cheeks. We stayed like that for a while, whispering about the good times and chuckling over our mischievous, childhood selves. I soaked up